In-laws

[McKenzie]

For all you married (and coupled) people... How the hang do you handle your in-laws. Oh I love my sweetie but sometime I wish I was with someone with normal family. Their so needy with all the phone calls and the "why don't you ever visit" but when visiting they treat you like a guest. Its so uncomfortably, you can't just open the fridge and get a drink... you have to ask and wait for them to serve you. None of them say mom or dad, they call their parents by their first name.
Why did I have to give them the first grandchild.
I come from a great family... you can show up uninvited, strech out on the couch and eat/drink whatever you want.

I'm sorry for ranting but OMG...

[tigerlily]

Wow. You can't even get your own drink? My inlaws are the same age as my grandparents. My mother is only a year older than my husband's oldest brother. We have an odd family. (I bet that strikes you as sooo unusual, since I'm such a normal gal myself ) But I'm lucky, they're all pretty wonderful. Different, but wonderful.

It's just one of those things you have to figure out how to deal with. At least they let you in the house, and aren't stalking you and trying to have you declared an unfit parent. Try and look at the good points, instead of focusing in on the bad.

[Freakie_frog]

Thats the joy of two familys. Just grit your teeth and know that you are with your sweetie and not them 24/7. Thats what I do.LOL

[adizziedoll]

Luckily, I've never had a problem with the 'rents. My new boyfriend's parents are the shiznit


How long have you had to get to know them? All I can say is either stay away as much as possible, or go hang out there like it's in style until its a little more confortable.

[McKenzie]

Try and look at the good points, instead of focusing in on the bad.

Thanks guys, I know your right I just have to grin and bare it and you know their are the good points like.... hummm..... aaaahhh.... huh.. Only joking, they love my son and even though their my crazy inlaws their his crazy grandparents.

Tigerlily you want odd.. My sweetie has two moms that are married (two each other) and his dad is with someone A LOT younger.

[JenHarrison]

We gave the first grandchild too...on both sides. But my in-laws are actually pretty nice and we get along well. The only thing that bugs me is how religious, strong-minded and energetic Lex's mom is. I hate getting God crap preached to me or having the only answer given be "have faith in God". Ugh. She's also a very bold woman and will say things that she doesn't intend as hurtful but they are...she gets on my case because I refuse to eat venison and don't like dogs. And she is SUPER energetic...like when she came to visit after Zoe was born, my husband had to contantly entertain her and bring her places...basically leaving me alone to care for Zoe myself (after a c-section). She redid our garden, relayed our patio, cleaned the house, rearranged my pantry...then would get antsy if we wanted to sit and watch a movie and would go walk around the neighborhood until we were done.

All I can say is what's already been said...grit your teeth and bare it...and try not to fear visits. I have to move back up north when my husband deploys in a few weeks, and I know they'll be wanting me to come visit with Zoe...

[McKenzie]

Oh Jen I feel for you... Trevs mom is so strong willed and very loud. Shes a childrens aid worker so she used to over powering other childrens parents. She thinks Im a great mom but that doesn't stop her from treating us like were one of her cases. She always tries to tell us about his development like were blind and then adds "well I should know I went to university and I am of higher education"

[wolfy-hound]

In-law's houses should be treated as they wish. If you have to behave formally in the house(i.e. like a guest rather than family) then know that going in. Act that way, and they will be happy. Act as if you are staying in a snotty bed-and-breakfast or something. Maybe if you tighten up, they will see that it is stiff and formal and loosen up in response.
As for changing stuff in your house, if you don't want it done, then put your foot down and say so. If the in-laws views of raising the kids differ from yours, explain that you respect their views, but YOU are raising YOUR children, and that you would appriciate some respect.
Really aweful in-laws, just darned well avoid them. You are not obliged to be treated badly.
Rant here, rant in other chatrooms, rant of other forums, spend that enregy, so you feel better so you can interact with them calmer. Better to gripe online to friends, then lose it at dear old dad-in-law.
Wolfy

[cassandra]

My future mother-in-law is fine! It's my own parents that weirdos...

[jason221]

Go to the gun range and hang up a pic of them as a target.