These People Vote!

[rabernet]

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old
fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: "Free
to good home. You want it, you take it".

For three days the fridge sat there without even one person looking
twice at it. He eventually decided that people were too untrusting of
this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed the sign to read:

"Fridge for sale $50".
The next day someone stole it.
Caution! These people Vote

=======

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent
which direction was North because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the North?"

When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, (and has for sometime), she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff"...

She ALSO votes

==========

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center One day I
got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week."

He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific" . . .

He ALSO votes!

==========

My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we
overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving". .

She ALSO votes!

==========
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car. It's designed to cut
through a seat belt if she gets trapped She keeps it in the trunk.
My sister ALSO votes!

==========
My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were
discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The
cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount...
He ALSO votes!
==========

I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring
attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain
rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's
nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head
is turned...
My friend ALSO votes!
=========

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to
the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never
showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a
trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has
your plane arrived yet?". . .
SHE ALSO votes!

[fish21]

that halerious Robin
matt

[joepythons]

The scary part is these people are free out their wandering around and breeding .This is so funny and true at the same time

[JLC]

What's even scarier is that the people they are voting FOR aren't any better.

[MedusasOwl]

Ow... my brain...

Kinda reminds me of the "Overheard" websites.. the quotes on there sometimes actually kill braincells.

Girl #1: Excuse me! Sir!...Why is the water level so low?
Girl #2: Yeah, are they like draining the Hudson River for the winter or something? Isn't that like bad for the boats?

--79th Street Boat Basin


Guy #1: Yo dude, I got a mouse in my apartment.
Guy #2: You better kill it before it grows into a rat.

--A train


Teen girl #1: Yeah, it's totally true. I heard it on the olive branch.
Teen girl #2: "Olive branch"?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, you know. It's going around...It's a rumor. The olive branch.
Teen girl #2: You mean the grape branch?

--LaGuardia

Woman: Do you have a non-fiction section?
Book guy: Well, everything that's not fiction is non-fiction. [Over] there's cooking, and there's history.
Woman: No, that's not what I asked. Do you have a section for non-fiction?
Book guy: Well, there are no non-fiction novels. Everything here that's not a novel is non-fiction.
Woman: But you don't have a non-fiction section?
Book guy: No. Everything that isn't fiction is non-fiction.

--Barnes & Noble, Staten Island


It goes on and on, I'd link to it but not all the quotes are this work friendly. People scare me. Maybe people should have to pass a "common sense" test to vote...

[jotay]

Sounds like Bill Engval and his "Here's your sign" routines.

He was explaining to his wife that the small plane they were in had hit a deer and she then asked " where you in the air "

Or they went skiing and had there skies on top of the car and someone asked " you going skiing" to which he replied " nope it's in case the car flips over on a icey road"

Those where great that you posted, thanks.
Kinda scares ya doesn't it?

[Ginevive]

LOL
Just think... these people drive AUTOMOBILES too...