chores and your kids

[SnakeySnakeSnake]

i have a question for all those other parents out there... how many chores do your kids do weekly? what are they? how old are your kids who are doing them...

i'm having some problems with my 12 yr old son... he does half the job (dishes etc) and then just walks out... very frustrating.

so, what do you all have your kids do? and how do you get them to do it?

When I was a kid (11-15) I did the following fairly regularly, after that age I didnt do quite as much as I was working a job.

Water both outside dogs and feed them every night
Feed and water the chickens a few times a week
During growing season tend the garden/weed once a week
Keep room clean, share in doing dishes/cleaning house on weekend
During firewood season help gather and chop wood
Mow the lawn weekly during spring/summer/fall
Rake leaves during the fall

that is all I can think of for now if I had refused to do a chore or half did it, I would probably be grounded, and had a lot of privilges revoked, like sports, going over to friends, etc

[recycling goddess]

well my son is grounded for a week and usually if they make a "real" effort i'm willing to let them off early but not this time. this is a constant battle and so "real" change is needed as well as "real" effort!

i've decided to make a list... of daily and weekly chores and they can mark them off. they can do them anytime, but they must be done before they go to play with their friends... so their choice. AND if they aren't done before bed... they have to stay up to do them! i'll go in and wake them up if needed for now on.

we don't give rewards or allowance for chores because then they just do them when they want money... besides, our home is like a community, everyone has to pitch in no matter what. i don't get paid for doing the dishes so why should he? (barbara colloruso stuff here)

i never had problems with my older daughter... she's 19 now and living on her own. she knew when chores needed to be done by and just did them... simple. but my son... he's such a challenge.

thanks for all the comments and suggestions everyone... you really helped me lots!

[JLC]

i never had problems with my older daughter... she's 19 now and living on her own. she knew when chores needed to be done by and just did them... simple.

That's a RARE child you have there!!!

[recycling goddess]

well i have a feeling there's not a whole lot 'rare' about my son LOL

hahahahaha

and yes, everything about my eldest is unique. she's an amazing young woman... great ethics, beautiful personality, gorgeous, confident and strong... exactly the kind of daughter every woman dreams of having! i am VERY blessed!!!

[alexrls]

i also used to have chores but in the last few years (i'm 17) i havent had any official chores.along with this was a loss in offical allowance. basicly if i need money i can ask my parents and depeding on our monetary situation (and man does it go up and down) they'll either give generously or explain to me that were sorta strapped right now. i may not always be happy with it but it did make me go out and get a job. the trade off is that i have no official chores but if my mom (or dad) needs something i done, i do it. i dont think this system works for everyone and the only reason it works for me is becasue of my deep respect for my parents and their trust in me.

[frankykeno]

I love a lot of Barbara's thoughts too Aleesha. Pretty good stuff and very common sense approach to parenting.

As much as we try to raise our kids equal, the fact is they are all unique and having both male and female kids...that difference in sexes as well as personalities is very obvious. 12 year old boys, or rather young men, are just not a whole bag of fun honey....never have been...probably never will be. Course 14 year old young women will turn your hair grey! LOL

Good luck on the grounding. For me I was as much grounded as the kids ever were so I hated having to go there with them, then I'm stuck home enforcing their darn punishment LOL. Just set his chores, set a time limit and expectation and make sure he knows exactly what the consequence will be....after that it's his decision. One rule we do have here is if I have to go and do your chore because you didn't and it needed done, then you get stuck with one of mine and it won't be one of my easier ones

[aaajohnson]

Good luck with the grounding. We only do that if we REALLY need to get the point across. For not doing chores, we remove something that they enjoy. For my son it is the PS2, and for my duaghters its usually holding the snakes. If those things don't work, then they are grounded from playing with their friends. My oldest daughter Alyssa is 12 and she is usually the only one that pushes it that far.


Their chores are, dishes, cleaning up after the dogs, taking out trash, cleaning thier rooms, and helping clean the rest house. We are still working on getting them to do everything without being reminded. I like the chart idea, wemight ahve to try that one.

Neil

[Pork Chops N' Corn Bread]

I don't get chores. Mom says clean this, I do it. I do half of it or don't do it at all.....I get yelled at and she threatens to give my snakes away. Although I know she won't do it, I still listen because I never know when she will have a bad day and actually do it. So, if he doesn't do what you ask, take something away or threaten too. We learn really quick when parents make threats.
Just my $.02

[monk90222]

My 7 year old son clean his room and cleans his playroom. He also holds a clipboard and writes down the info in the reptile room that I dictate to him(meals, sheds, weights)...its his way of helping Daddy even though he doesn't really like the snakes!! I also have a month old son...he does nothing!!

[recycling goddess]

hahaha nothing eh? hahahahahaha

well this seems to be working... he did lots of work in the yard while i pointed and gave commands to everyone (being the supervisor sucks, i wanna get dirty too )

but... my back is crying from what i did sneak and do (bad mama) and i've now been sent into the house to rest. hence... that's why i'm here LOL