Vote for BP.Net for the 2013 Forum of the Year! Click here for more info.

» Site Navigation

» Home
 > FAQ

» Online Users: 876

1 members and 875 guests
Most users ever online was 47,180, 07-16-2025 at 05:30 PM.

» Today's Birthdays

Banjomule (45)

» Stats

Members: 75,900
Threads: 249,095
Posts: 2,572,066
Top Poster: JLC (31,651)
Welcome to our newest member, wkeith67
Results 1 to 6 of 6
  1. #1
    VP of Cool
    Join Date
    02-28-2004
    Location
    Bing
    Posts
    5,927
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 7 Times in 2 Posts

    Talking Lawyer joke of the day:)

    A friend of mine sent me this, so I thought I'd share it with you guys. Enjoy!
    -------------------------------------------------------------------------
    One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass.

    Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate.


    He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"


    "We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."

    "Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you" the lawyer said.



    "But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."



    "Bring them along" the lawyer replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated,

    "You come with us also."

    The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"

    "Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered.


    They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.

    Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said,



    "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."



    The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place. The grass is almost a foot high."
    When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be ~ Lao Tzu

  2. #2
    BPnet Veteran frankykeno's Avatar
    Join Date
    04-17-2005
    Location
    Toledo, Ohio
    Posts
    19,814
    Thanks
    92
    Thanked 871 Times in 478 Posts
    Images: 33

    Re: Lawyer joke of the day:)

    Omg Raj...hahahahahahahahaha! That's a good one!

    My favorite lawyer joke (and yes it's an oldie but a goodie) is why are medical research facilities starting to use lawyers rather than white rats for research...

    #1. Because you can't get emotionally attached to a lawyer...

    #2. Because there are some things even a rat won't do!

    ~~Joanna~~

  3. #3
    BPnet Veteran Gecko Den's Avatar
    Join Date
    11-04-2005
    Location
    South Jersey
    Posts
    361
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 7 Times in 4 Posts
    Images: 8

    Re: Lawyer joke of the day:)

    What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of ****?



    The bucket.......
    Last edited by JLC; 06-07-2006 at 04:21 PM. Reason: Please don't try to skirt the censor
    ************
    Sam Mounts
    Gecko Den

  4. #4
    BPnet Veteran alexrls's Avatar
    Join Date
    10-10-2004
    Location
    Dorm Room, Bridgeport, Connecticut
    Posts
    1,102
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Images: 9

    Re: Lawyer joke of the day:)

    Quote Originally Posted by frankykeno
    Omg Raj...hahahahahahahahaha! That's a good one!

    My favorite lawyer joke (and yes it's an oldie but a goodie) is why are medical research facilities starting to use lawyers rather than white rats for research...

    #1. Because you can't get emotionally attached to a lawyer...

    #2. Because there are some things even a rat won't do!

    wasnt that Robin Williams line in the movie HOOK?
    Alex
    {1.0.0 ball pythons- MONTYcurently being fostered}
    0.3.0 older sisters
    3.0.0 older brother-in-laws
    3.0.0 little brothers
    0.1.0 cutest lil sister ever
    New!!! just added!!!3.0.0. nephew!



  5. #5
    BPnet Veteran frankykeno's Avatar
    Join Date
    04-17-2005
    Location
    Toledo, Ohio
    Posts
    19,814
    Thanks
    92
    Thanked 871 Times in 478 Posts
    Images: 33

    Re: Lawyer joke of the day:)

    Not sure Alex...can't remember the movie but that's where I might have first heard it. George Carlin and Robin Williams being my personal comedic hero's LOL
    ~~Joanna~~

  6. #6
    BPnet Veteran alexrls's Avatar
    Join Date
    10-10-2004
    Location
    Dorm Room, Bridgeport, Connecticut
    Posts
    1,102
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
    Images: 9

    Re: Lawyer joke of the day:)

    yeah i think that was where i heard it. the funniest part about that line is that Robin Williams' character is a lawyer.
    Alex
    {1.0.0 ball pythons- MONTYcurently being fostered}
    0.3.0 older sisters
    3.0.0 older brother-in-laws
    3.0.0 little brothers
    0.1.0 cutest lil sister ever
    New!!! just added!!!3.0.0. nephew!



Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v4.2.1