First... I bag the snakes.

Me, as I open the cage: Oh, thank the gods, he's sleeping.

Neptune: Zzzzz

Me, as I lift up his hide: Here we go...

Neptune: Zzz..mrpf? RAWR!

Me, as I scoop him up: Oh, shush, come on honey...

Neptune, flailing: RAWR HISS

Me, trying to get his head in the bag: In here, Neptune!

Neptune: I BITE YOU! Nippy nippy nip nip!

Me, unimpressed: First... you missed. Second... I'm wearing gloves.

Neptune: Curses... I BITE THE BAG! Die, pillowcase!!

Me:

Neptune: F33R ME!

Me: No. Now get in the bag.

Neptune: NEVAR!

Both, struggle with opposite aims for a bit.

Me: HAH! I got most of you... DRAT!

Neptune, head popping out of bag: FREEDOM! BWAHAHAHAHA!

Me, grabbing his neck: I have hands! Eat that, snake boy!

Neptune: Curses!

Both, sit panting and glaring for a moment.

Me, scooching the rest of his 7 or 8 feet up around my arm: Hmm...

Neptune: FOOL! NOW I CONSTRICT YOU!

Me: Yeah, you do that...

Neptune: Sssss... wait, how do I do the constrict thing again...

Me, stuffs him in bag and holds it shut!!

Neptune: MRPHRRAWRMPH!

Me, pokes at his tail till it finally slips in too and ties the bag : I WIN AT SNAKE BAGGING!

Neptune, curses me out in Parsel Tongue/Sauron Black Speech from within bag as I turn to Ma-tsu.

Me, as I open the cage: Hi Ma-tsu sweetie!

Ma-tsu: Hi, Mommy! I was just taking a bath!

Me: Come on, time to go honey.

Ma-tsu: Otay! Ooo, I'm in a bag! Look, I'm a Scooby Doo Ghost!

Me: That's very cute, sweetie.

Done.

Then I drive 45 minutes out to where the herp vet is. Dr. K is very nice, and so are his assistants! They don't get many Asian ratsnakes, and while Dr. K has bred and raised all kinds of ratsnakes he admitted that Asian ratsnakes are not his specialty. Which is cool, because he's still the best herp vet in the area and Asian ratsnakes are weird and obscure to begin with, people are still learning about them. The receptionist cooed at Ma-tsu and looks forward to me bringing in a clutch of cute babies.

So first he was going to probe Ma-tsu, then went "Oh, never mind I don't need to... she's ovulating! So, yeah, female." He counted 9 eggs in there, and they might or may not be fertilized, so she might be gravid!! She also might reabsorb them. He said if we plan on breeding them this year I should get them together ASAP to make sure. Tempting... but I really think we ought to get started with that next season... thinking... He did probe her anyway just to show me how that works. Didn't do a fecal though, because she's ovulating and he didn't want to hurt her or the eggs squeezing out a sample.

As far as Neptune, it sounds to Dr. K like he's just being a breeding adult male ratsnake. Cranky! So get those babies used to how things work now so they don't turn into a Neptune! He suggested leaving the f/t dinner overnight and bets Neptune will take it, otherwise he looks quite healthy. They both do! And Neptune had an excellent poo sample, no bugs and a VERY high sperm count! He also showed me how to probe, which is cool. Annoyed at being probed, Neptune everted at the doctor. Hello! Dr. K handled Neptune masterfully, no need for gloves. I wanna be that snake savvy someday.

Both of them weigh a little over 3 lbs, and what I fretted might be RI is really just that their sinuses are dried out and they need more humidity. He gave me some humidifying tips, and told me that when we have hatchlings to bring them on down and he'll show me how to pop them, easy peasy.

I am... SO relieved they're healthy! Load off my mind