I just need to talk...

[ladywhipple02]

So, tonight it finally hit me: I'm getting a divorce. In fact, I already am divorced. We two are now one.

It was going downhill for a long time. And it wasn't really anybody's fault. But I still feel like such a failure... like if I had worked harder it would have worked out.

I just hurt so badly right now... it's like everything in my body hurts and I can't make it stop. We were going to try to be friends. But that's not doing so hot either. He only wants to be my friend when it's convenient for him... and then he wants everything the same way it was. But I can't do that.

I'm sorry this is so disjointed. I tried calling him because I'm feeling really lonely and he won't answer and texted me saying he's out with the people from work. And when I ask him to call me after he's done because I'm feeling lonely he comes back with: "Whatever." What kinda friend treats another friend like that?

I know I should just tell him to get lost, but it's soooo hard. And I'm just sitting crying because I know what I should do and I don't know if I can.

I'm so sorry to be letting this all out here, but my roommate is asleep, and I'm sure my parents are, and I just needed to let it out.

[Shelby]

Oh dear.. I am so sorry to hear it. Being a young person, I really don't know what you must feel like, but you have my sympathies just the same. We're here for you.

[ballpythonandragon]

Hun you aren't doing anything that you shouldn't be doing or feeling, I wouldn't imagine seperating with my wife at all i figure it's hard as come be and I'm here for you also hun. Aaron

[rabernet]

Awwww, Honey!!!! I am so sorry! Although I've never been married, I remember how I felt after the break up with my first love (and five year relationship). I just didn't want to do anything.


I'll never forget what someone advised me when I was at my lowest and feeling the most alone - and I hope that maybe it helps you in your healing.

Depression can't hit a moving target.

What she meant by that was - as much as I'd rather bury myself in the comforter and just sleep - to get out the door and do things that I enjoyed - stay busy.

I began doing a lot of volunteer work in all my spare time - and distracting myself by helping others was really a key to my healing. I hope that it can help you too.

You definitely have to feel the emotions before you can heal - but it does get better - even if it feels like that's impossible.

In the meantime, we're all here for you and we love you!

[iceman25]

Ouchy I am really sorry to hear that you are in pain. I can empathize with your situation and I can assure you that it will get better with time. Just do everything that you can in the mean time to take care of yourself. Hang out with some close friends, stay over with your family and time will eventually heal all wounds.

[Ironhead]

Sorry to hear of your divorce, it is never easy. Take it from me (a divorcee twice) it will only get better, just gonna take some time. My second marriage lasted 2 months short of 20 years. Took me a while to get back to normal, but you will.....just take it one day at a time. Stay strong!

Dont cry because its over, smile becasue it happened.

Pain and suffering is inevetable but misery is optional.

[ladywhipple02]

Thanks everyone. I called my dad and have been talking to him for the last hour about everything. My family is becoming my life support. It just sucks even more that I'm currently living 2.5 hours away from them. At times like this I just feel so alone, you know?


I'm only 22 years old. We'd only been married two years... and this seriously hit me outta no where. I thought it would be forever. I really did.

[cassandra]

/big super huge hugs =(

You are a wonderful person and we all love you, period! Sent you a pm with my phone number - I'm west coast, so I'm up late, and I'm good at listening. /hug

[recycling goddess]

my first marriage only lasted about the same amount of time and i thought it would be forever as well...

my best advice to you has already been said... do something. i started swimming. going to the pool everynight (and leaving my daughter with my parents so i could) was very healing for me! not only was it healthy for my body... it was healthy for my soul.

sending you hugs!!!

[sweety314]

We ALL go into a marriage figuring it's "forever".

Mine died three years after it had begun but I too, stayed and tried to make it work. But like sex and dancing, it takes TWO and if one isn't willing to work on it, then it's best to cut losses and leave. No thx to him, I got pregnant. I stayed for another five years for FD's health and care. She's the BEST and BRIGHTEST thing that came out of that miserable marriage, but I eventually couldn't take any more of the emotional abuse and neglect and left.

What you're feeling is normal. Divorce is just another form of death, and you have to MOURN to heal.

We're here for you. Feel free to talk anytime U want. I too am on the west coast and am usually up all hours of the night. PM me and I'll send U my number as well.

It isn't worth "staying friends" if that's the sort of "friend" he's going to be. No one needs a friend that selfish!!!!! You'll find much better and more UPLIFTING friends HERE!

When I went to counseling to try and get us help (he only showed up for the last of the 3 appts), the counselor told me that if I had explained everything to my closest friend, and that friend had given me advice, then I should follow that advice. Our close friends care for us, know us and aren't emotionally committed like WE are, so they're better able to see what is best for us.

Hang in there!! It's going to be really rough for a while, but give yourself the right, and the time to mourn, then go out and do the things you love!

We're all rooting for you, and keeping you in our prayers.

RuLyn