Often being right, isn't.


I'll try not to come accross as preachy, but informative. I understand that is harder in text than it is in person.

It helps to identify what your main concern was. Clearly we all know you were concerned for the safety of her snakes.

What was her main concern? I didn't see it listed.

One could assume that it may be cost of housing, hurt feelings, not wanting to feel stupid, or any other number of things that we aren't aware of.

The problem of taking an I'm right/you're wrong approach is that there has to be a loser. No one wants to be the loser, so people slip into other modes to avoid this. (ie. denial)

I'm not sure how good your relationship is with this person, but a more powerful approach would be to acknowledge all her concerns. Don't interrupt her story, let her tell it, and if something pops up you feel a need to respond to, acknowledge it to yourself, and come back to it later.

Only when SHE believes that you truly understand her side of things will you be in a position to guide her.

One of my favourite books on the subject is called "Difficult conversations" by Bruce Patton. It is a valuable read for anyone.

http://www.amazon.ca/exec/obidos/ASI...652850-0022412

Best of luck!