hahahaha these are GREAT stories... had a great laugh - thanks everyone!

here's my story i posted on a bearded dragon forum... last summer:

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Oh man, being pregnant is not the most fun thing, and as this is my third clutch in the last few months... I’m getting pretty good at this whole waiting game. So the other day I decided to be a pain in the butt... I thought that if I just kept scratching at my plexi door my mama would let me go for a cruise around the house. I knew that if I was digging and looking like I really needed to lay my eggs she wouldn’t let me cruise so I held back the temptation to dig cause I wanted to cruise!

So mama lets me out and I start cruising around the house. Nothing new in any of the rooms, everything is just as I left it yesterday. Wait, what’s this??? Hmmm, is that the outside? Oh this is my lucky day, someone left the door open.

Well, I’ve never been here before. I do remember mama carrying me thru this space before though. I wonder how I’m going to get down. It’s a loooong way down and the other option is these stairs... I don’t really like stairs but the other option is jumping and flying (which by the way, I happen to love doing but my mama gets mad at me when I do) so let’s flop down these wooden stairs to the yard.

Okay, so let’s see, someone laying in the sun, she’s that daughter who doesn’t like me much. I could go climb on her back and make her scream (I love making her scream) but then she’s going to get me put back into the house and I don’t wanna go back yet.

So let’s sneak by her,... under this bush, over to this tree... did she see me? No. Okay, keep going... under the fence and cedar bushes and WOW what is this? There’s a whole world out here! I can see for miles and miles.

Sure are a lot of people out here... don’t see mama anywhere so I’m safe. I think I’ll wander down this little rocky road... onto this grass and hey, look at this - I could do some digging here!

Laying in the sun, digging... oh now folks this is the THE life. (Hours pass... basking and diggin’)

What, who are you? Oh are you going to carry me back to mama? How nice, service with a smile... okay ya sir, I live just beyond those cedar bushes over there. No I didn’t say I wanted to go for a ride with you. HELP I’M BEING ABDUCTED!!! I don’t know who you are or why you are taking me away but I wanna go home now... mama’s gonna be worried about me.

What are you doing? No you cannot look at me like that! No I don’t want to eat a spider! No I don’t wanna live in this box... oh where is mama and why can’t I go home. *sobbing* I want to go home to my nice enclosure with silkies and my favorite basking log.... oh how could I just venture out like this... mama will never find me now *sobbing*

*Off to sleep and in the morning*... where's my mama... I don't wanna live in a box... I want my basking log.... oh mama where are you?????

MAMA IT’S YOU how did you find me? I was on a big adventure mama... I went out to lay my eggs and when I was done this guy picked me up and took me home. I’m so glad I found you... or you found me! I’m sooooo hungry!

(back in a box and off to home I go) Ah yummy silkies... thanks mama *munch munch* yes, I would like more, thank you.... and yes some more.... oh yes, more please. Now a bath... oh mama you take such good care of me. I soooo wanted a bath after laying all those eggs but that guy just didn’t know. Now don’t get me wrong mama, he took care of me as best as he knew how, but he wasn’t you mama... thanks for searching for me mama.

Off to bask on my favorite log....

And so ends the story of Raphael’s big adventure. The little miss snuck out of the house yesterday and vanished. Today I went into the petstore and mentioned that she was somewhere in the house but we couldn’t find her... only to find out that the guy who rescued her from the baseball field was looking for me! The petstore told him to call the SPCA... and they forget to get him name and number before they hung up... then the SPCA told him to call animal control and forgot to get his name and number before they hung up. Then animal control was out to lunch... literally. We called the newspaper and they said we just missed him... and they forgot to get his name and number... so on went the saga... but finally we met up at the SPCA and Raphael, empty of eggs and dehydrated climbed onto my hand and immediately cuddled into me... wanting to go home.

oh and by the way... i forgot to get his name and number!