Wife says no....

[bg1906]

I was in a similar boat. I grew up with parents that never would let me have a snake in the house. I got the typical, when you own your own home you can do what you will. So now that I do own a home, I had to then go through it with my wife. Her response is based on fear. I let my wife know that I had wanted a BP since a young boy and that now that I had the opportunity I was going to do it. She wasn't thrilled but its good to remind the wife that marriage is a give/take relationship (compromise). What I did then was begin to slowly introduce all my research into BPs to my wife. I bought the book, The Ball Python Manual, and I let her know about the things that make BPs so popular (manageable size, temperment, etc). I then also purchased VPI's, All About Ball Pythons (2 part VHS tapes) and asked her to have an open mind and at least watch them with me. Hearing Dave and Tracy Barker talk about BPs and her seeing first hand a large BP on the video and seeing the snakes kind nature, made her more accepting. But she also had concerns. Her next concerns were food items (rats and mice), she didn't want to have live rats or mice in our home that could possibly say escape. So after watching the videos she become aware of f/t. Next she didn't want frozen rats in our fridge/freezer, so I assured her that I'd get stand alone freezer and keep it in the garage (compromise). Her final worry was hearing that snakes are escape artists and she was worried the snake would get out. So after meeting Adam here and becoming aware of companies such as Animal Plastics, Vision, etc., I learned that their were companies that made enclosures strictly for securely housing reptiles. I then showed her the cages by Animal Plastics and the fact that they had locks. Once she saw that we made another compromise. That was that if I got the cage, made sure they were no means of escape, and made sure I kept it locked, she'd be willing. Lastly, I took her to a reptile show so she could see snakes up close first hand in a good environment. That was a positive experience as well. Next, I started by first buying everything I needed including the cage BEFORE I got the snake. I then started working on fine tuning my husbandry needs by researching, asking a ton of questions here, and also setting up my environment before the snake arrived. Once the snake arrived, everything I had promised my wife I would do, I had done. That date was Sept. 22, 2005. So far, so good. She even came and held the snake the other day (w/ gloves of course)! So I'd count this as a victory! Just stay persistent and do what you can to ease her fear. The best weapon against fear/ignorance (in the true sense of the word, not offensive) is knowledge and education. It worked for me!

Hope that helps.

[khara]

In our case I was the one afraid of the snakes. Really afraid. Getting a snake has really helped me overcome my fears though. Maybe it would help your wife too. My daughter wanted a corn snake and I realized that I didn't want to pass my fears to her so I agreed and my husband was going to help her with it with me going no where near it. That first day was rough. Just seeing it was hard but each day got a bit better. A month later I bought my own BP for my birthday. The other snakes made me nervous with their quick jerky movements but BP's are so laid back. My BP really helped me with my lifelong fear. I hope some of this might help your wife out. Good luck.

[rex322]

i had the same problem with my mom...she didnt want snakes in her house. i won her over by showing her my devotion to them. now she loves them, and i currently have 2boas, and 2 burms (until later this week, one burm goes).

your wife should be somewhat understanding. like everyone said, bring her around them, dont force them on her, but just show them to her. let her know your dead serious and really want one. let her know all the facts about them. their cheaper than a dog to feed a year too, so that could be a plus. they dont stink as long as you keep their cage clean, their quite, only eat once a week, and for the most part calm. do you have a room that is all yours? tell her you will put it in there. is there anything within reason that she wants that you dont neccasarily want (dog, cat, ferret, whatever it may be). tell her if you can get the snake that youll buy here that. just let her know your serious about it. after the 6th year and 600th time i asked my mom, she finally let me get one. if shes scared, show her theres nothing to be scared of. snakes can be a fun activity, have you ever held one? i find holding mine relieves stress. if it works with you, let her know, and she probly will understand. snakes are escape artists, i know first hand. but there are enclosures out there secure enough to hold the big ones such as burms and retics. let us know, if we can help we will be sure to

[Lady Python]

I'm lucky as both myself, husband and family love snakes.

Idea! Just show your wife these pics. They show just how friendly snakes, especially Royal Pythons (Ball Pythons) can be. This is one of my Royals, Byron who I've had since he was a hatchling. He has a really loveable character. He's got a thing about coffee and has tried to drink mine (at the same time as I'm drinking it).

Byron using my specs as a climbing frame.



Hello...Is there anyone in there???


Loves helping me on the computer



And he loves his Mum



The last pic was taken a few months ago but every time he's out, and sitting on my shoulder, he'll frequently come up and give me a "snake kiss", ever so gently. He also rubs his head along the side of my cheek. I have a very special bond with this snake and his gentleness never ceases to amaze and enthral me.

[buckdawg]

Thanks everyone for your input. Historically she has been stubborn at first but eventually will start to see the light Hopefully this is the case this time as well. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

[Lady Python]

I'll keep my fingers cross for you as well. Good luck and let us know how you get on.

[philthy]

You tarzan, she jane!

[xdeus]

Thanks everyone for your input. Historically she has been stubborn at first but eventually will start to see the light Hopefully this is the case this time as well. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

Wow, your wife sounds like a real...


wait for it...


...

Ball Buster!

(Sorry, couldn't resist)

Seriously, though, I hope she comes around. My wife was very aprehensive at first. Eventually she came around and now even helps me clean cages and such. Perhaps you can start slow like get a corn snake or even a lizard, then a legless lizard, etc. Before you know it your wife will be perusing KS for Retics.

[kavmon]

find a local reptile show, put a baby pied,caramel, or blue eyed lucy in her hand. seriously! my wife held a baby pied and she was hooked!


vaughn