How did this happen?? (my life)

[Ginevive]

How could I have ended up in the crappy position I am in? I am NOT talking about my awesome family or my unbeatable boyfriend. I am talking, me. I am in a pathetic dead end job and even here I can't seem to stand up for myself, and find myself doing other people's work. It is not pretty. I have awesome pets and a cool place to live with my man, but sometimes I don't feel like I even deserve it because I am such a lowlife employment-wise. I am not kidding here; in gradeschool I was ranked with the top 97 percentile in all the country's schools, as one of the most inteelgent. I woulf get straight a's and then in highschool I fell in with the classic "wrong crowd" and dropped out, only to find myself at the same dead job since then.
What the hck can I do? If I go to school, there'll be tons of loans and I know many ppl who did that, and they could not find jobs in their fields. I seriously need advice, people. How can I make lots of $$ on my own and stop being second fiddle to my man in the earnings department?

[frankykeno]

What do you actually do Gin? Sometimes it's a matter of looking outside the box and seeing where your skill set might work in another field you hadn't thought of. Also some communities have employment counselling to help you identify your strengths and weaknesses.

One thing my grandfather (who raised me) said and I've never forgotten is this....no matter what job you do, if you clean toilets for a living...you be the best damn toilet cleaner you know how to be....that way your work will always be something to be proud of. I think he was a very wise man though he never had much education and spent his life in a factory setting. He might have had dirt under his fingernails and big work hardened hands but that man had pride in his work and himself that no college professor could have ever matched.

You sound really stressed Gin. Please do something nice for yourself this weekend, even it's just a bubble bath or a cuddle with your man. Seems like you need it (and don't we all some days).

[Ginevive]

I work in a dept. store.
This was pretty-much brought on by an incident that happened a few weeks ago. We were all at his sister's house, and his other sister mentioned something along the lines of "he had a pathetic retail job; he was a complete loser!" It really affected me more than I like to admit. Personally, I think the only pathetic people, are those who bilk others out of their money.
I just feel "down" because my bf makes most of the money in our relationship. Of course, I do most of the cleaning at home and laundry, so it does kinda even out. But if I had a better job, we would be living so much more comfortably.
Sigh! I think I'll take your bubble-bath advice tonight.

[daniel1983]

You work at a dept. store....what is wrong with that? Don't let people like that bother you. When someone looks down on ANY profession they are generally just trying to make themselves feel better. To look down on anyone because of their job is just plain ignorance. When people act like that it really boils my blood.

Please do not ever feel bad about what you do for a living. As my dad always tells me....."this world needs ditch diggers too"...and that is the truth. How would this world function right if people did not have jobs at dept. stores, mechanic shops, construction companies, fast food resturants, etc...? Without those people this world would NOT FUNCTION AT ALL.

My dad completely runs his construction company...He builds(or demolishs) during the day...and handles all the business when he gets home in the evening. I have seen where people have looked down on him because he was working hard on a jobsite next to laborers. They have no clue that he is the 'boss' or how much money he makes.....they would just assume that he is 'just another laborer' because what he is doing.

I worked as a construction laborer for a few years for my dad's construction company....people would look at me funny when I went in places or talk to me like I was an idiot because they thought I was just a 'stupid dirty construction worker'. They did not know anything about me, yet they assumed everything about me because of my job.

To make my point.... You know what you do and You know how hard you work...dont be ashamed of working because of what other people say.

If you are not happy with your job....look around to see what else is out there. Sit down and think about the type of jobs you would like to have....if they don't require going to school, why do you need to?....if they do, then you have to figure out if it is worth it.

I am in college now and have all kinds of info. So if you decide college is the way to go........or If you have any questions about student loans and what type of job fields are doing good at the moment....let me know....I am sure I can help out

Sorry for the ramble

[Ginevive]

Thanks for the post! I am going to look on a few job-hunting websites now. It is not really that I dislike my job; I just know that there are 5 people who have more seniority than me, and they would be the first to go into any managerial (higher paying, better days off) job that opened up. I want to be able to advance.

[frankykeno]

Gin, something we women do (and society sure as hell taught us to do it) is discount our work at home. I'm a full-time mom right now and my husband can tell you how often I feel crummy for not being "of more help". Realistically I care for this busy household, keep all of our live's details straight, do the bulk of the cooking and cleaning for humans and pets alike and care for a 4 year old and 1 year old three times a week (on top of my own 4 year old). But like most women I don't see what I do as having real value in this very dollar oriented society.

Working in retail is not something to be ashamed of, it's often tough, thankless, underpaid work dealing with people that are too often less than polite on a day to day basis. I don't have the patience for it so good for you girl! It does however teach you sellable skills like organization, customer service, merchandising, product placement and advertising just to name a few. If you work for a major chain I'd certainly encourage you to participate in any management training they might offer (always great to let an employer pay for the additional training that will one day get you a better position there or elsewhere).

As well, if you have the time sometimes volunteer work can lead to a great job down the road or give you even more skills to add to a resume. If nothing else it gets you out of the rut a bit and you meet new people (which means even more people that might have or know about a better job).

I know the word "networking" is overused but do let folks know you are looking to move on. Some of the best jobs I've ever had were word of mouth or cold walk-ins to places I wanted a job (they weren't even advertising but I'm a bold broad in my own way LOL).

I'd add a big glass of wine and some candles to that bubblebath.

Oh btw and not to insult your bf's sister....but that's a very snobby thing to say about someone's employment and it was doubly rude since she must know you also work in retail. I know it hurt but honey I wouldn't put any weight to her words. I have a saying I love....CONSIDER THE SOURCE!


~~Jo~~

[frankykeno]

Oh forgot to tell you this Gin. My younger sister got that "dream job" with the huge salary. Both she and her husband make more than Mike and I will ever see I would think. Brand new house, all the toys, sounds good doesn't it.

This is the flipside. The kids have a nanny, my sister couldn't take a decent maternity leave because she's "important" to her company, she barely sees her husband as his work is even more "important" than hers. She has stress attacks like there's no tomorrow and worries constantly. They have a lifestyle that is great but Gin if something happened to those big paying jobs and it can in this economy.....I don't know how they would ever adjust really.

I adore my sister and am so very proud of her....just sometimes I don't know if the costs are worth the benefits.


~~Joanna~~

[Ginevive]

Wow, thanx for your post (sorry it took me so long to read it, lol.) I took a few hours yesterday, took the ATV out alone in the woods just to get away for a little bit and think. It really made me happier; some ppl go to others in their times of stress, but I like to get away! hehe.
I can only imagine what it's like raising three kids! I have my own hands full at home, cleaning up after me and my guy, as well as all the pets we have. I get enjoyment out of it though; sometimes people will say "doesn't it bother you/get tiring to take care of so many rats/snakes (and soon our horse)? But I actually would not have it any other way!
Thanks for the post; I really appreciate it.

[frankykeno]

Hey it's okay Gin, I wrote a freakin book LOL. I just get very passionate about women seeing their own worth (too many years working in a shelter for abused women & kids will do that to ya!).


~~Jo~~