I think I've only had BPs for about as long as you have so I'm no expert, but when you first lift the hide or whatever I think their reaction at first is always going to be like "what is happening" until they realize it's you. Mine both look up in that S-shape until they smell me or I give them a small pet, not sure how they recognize me but it's not by sight. I also have never had luck sitting with either in my lap - something about sitting still and looking at them they find unnerving I think. They'll just sit still and not explore. I have found if I take them on my forearm, close to my body, and start walking casually around the house, even tidying up and stuff with my other hand, they calm down faster, I think because my attention is not on them and there are interesting smells and things happening. When I do that both of them will quickly uncurl and start looking around and tongue flicking curiously. But I think it's different for each snake, some might like sitting quietly, others might prefer to do other things.