Lol I can relate. I'm not scared of my BP or being bitten but I'm the kind of person who jumps 3 feet when the toaster goes off. I tend to let go with my tongs instinctively when my BP strikes though.
Maybe you could try letting go of the rat when it gets to the distance your BP usually strikes or wiggling the rat up to the opening of the hide and just placing it there? Depends on the snake though, I know some really like to see the zombie dance, and it can be really hard to predict when they strike especially if they are in a hide and you can't see them.