Others here have more experience than myself and have given good advice. I have only worked with 2.2 retics up to 2 years of age.
I have a 1.1 of a sd and sd/d cross. Both of mine are active and like to cruise about and explore. They get handled often. I don't even use a hook for these two. The female I basically have to rub the rodent on her face to get her to take it, even then she does it gently.
For a year I stopped by a friends house once a week and tended to her 1.1 dwarf and mainland retics. They quickly learned I was the bringer of food and would strike the glass when they saw me. It started out with them needing to be tap trained. The male dwarf quickly learned the new routine after a few weeks and settled down to be very handleable. The female was very food driven and took more time.
As for male vs female size it was once explained to me that if a male and female are the same length the male might have a girth of a baseball while the female will be more robust and have the girth of a softball. My opinion is a sd/d's initial cost is quickly offset by the cost of smaller housing and prey.