There are various ways to deal with the probe. Some are obviously bad, some are the standard recommended placement, and others are good, but different.
From the OP's account, the BF himself asked for a critique, and then got peevish and defensive when the problem was pointed out.
We are all going to have disagreements in our personal relationships, but speaking for myself, I wouldn't want to live with someone who habitually initiates abrasive and energy draining interactions. I detest drama, and won't put up with adults acting like bratty eight year olds. Only the Op can decide if this typical on the guy's part, or just a particularly bad day.
