Addiction struggles?

[Helonwheelz383]

Anyone else here have experience with drug/alcohol addiction? I lived that horrible life for ten years. Like most I started out just drinking and smoking with friends and it was fun. Others could stop, and a few of us went off the rails. I was one of them. I don't know if it's genetics, personality, brain chemistry, or all the above, but I knew early on that I couldn't stop, and was heading for trouble. I kept graduating to worse and worse substances until I finally landed on heroin. That crap almost killed me, and I sometimes wonder why I made it out. Especially when so many good people close to me ended up dying with needles in their arms. Addiction is incredibly insidious and effects everyone one way or another. For every one of us that recovers there are probably 10 that die. I'm incredibly grateful that I'm one of the lucky ones that's been able to get into recovery before it was too late. I got into recovery after staying at two consecutive inpatient facilities in fall/winter of 2016. It can be the most rewarding, joyous feeling, and at times can seem incredibly daunting, miserable, and downright impossible. For me it's been incredibly fluid and changes daily. I'm just curious if there's anyone in the recovery family floating around in here? Also anyone that may be struggling you can do it! Never give up. I know how impossible it seems. I tried and relapsed many, many times. There is a beautiful, challenging, rewarding, peaceful life just waiting for you to claim it if you're willing to reach out and do the work like your life depends on it because it does. You deserve it, and you can do it! If you don't like to talk about it in the open so feel free to reach out via PM.

[Craiga 01453]

Good for you!!! Keep it up, my friend.

I'll have 6 years in December. I lived that nightmare for 15 years. I got a bit of a late start, compared to many, but once I started I hit it hard. Started with booze and pot, within a few months I was drinking daily and never looked back. Then I found drugs, and never looked back. I had about 10 sober days in 15 years, with various failed attempts to get sober...

I hit my bottom after relapsing on pills after I broke my leg at work. I knew I'd be dead or in jail real soon if I didn't get clean and sober. I OD'd and was legally dead for 4-6 minutes according to EMTs. Narcan and paddles on my chest saved my life. If they were a minute later getting there I wouldnt be here today... I shot up again 2 days later... I decided I needed to hit a meeting, I was tired of trying and failing on my own. I made it through 3 days of shaking, puking, crying, the worst physical and mental pain I've ever felt...but I made it. And I promised myself I wouldn't go through that another time.

I hit the meetings hard for the first year, but havent been in about 4 years. I guess I just needed to learn how to get sober from people like me who've lived like I had.


....anyway, keep up the good work!!! Life is actually worth living once you find a way out of that hell we called a life...

[Helonwheelz383]

Oh man, the good ole Narcan. Talk about a rude awakening lol. That's good stuff brother! 6 years is a monster of an accomplishment! My story is very similar to yours. I got a later start than most as well. It began with drinking and smoking pot then I started to experiment with everything I could get my hands on. I was already headed for trouble then I broke my back when I crashed my CR500. That's the opioid medications started coming in and there was no stopping that momentum. It was like I found the cure for anything and everything. After I healed up the scripts stopped so I started buying them off the street and eventually had to make the jump to heroin after it got too expensive. OD's, jail, and all the other good stuff that comes with it wasn't a deterrent for me at all. I got 3 weeks one time early on but other than that couldn't go more than a day or two without being in jail or some kind of facility. At the worst point I was living in my car and ended up OD'ing behind the wheel. I plowed through a median and had a sign come through the windshield. Thank God I didn't kill anybody. You'd think that would be a wake up call for anyone, but I still kept doing my thing. Hell, I was even driving the car around no windshield and all haha. Pretty sad really but I can't help but laugh about it now. It is most definitely hell on earth. Something I wouldn't wish on anybody. I've dialed back the meetings recently but still make sure I go when I need a recharge. I feel like there's a point when you move and don't look back, but I'm not quite there yet. Life may not be all peaches and cream, but it sure is beautiful. Especially when you've fought your way out of the depths of hell and came back. I know it really changed my perspective. Thanks for sharing and you keep up the good work as well!

[Reinz]

I lost my sister to pills a year ago.

My daughter has relapsed from shooting up Meth countless times.

Just like y’all, I have many stories and hard emotions. If addicts only realized a fraction of the pain that loved ones go through along with them, they may reconsider what they are doing.

Thank you Helon and Craig for having the courage to share your struggles.

[Craiga 01453]

I lost my sister to pills a year ago.

My daughter has relapsed from shooting up Meth countless times.

Just like y’all, I have many stories and hard emotions. If addicts only realized a fraction of the pain that loved ones go through along with them, they may reconsider what they are doing.

Thank you Helon and Craig for having the courage to share your struggles.

I'm never afraid to share my past. I don't care how many people know. I'll share it a million times over with the hope that maybe 1 person sees that I was able to get clean and sober and finds the courage themselves. Or maybe 1 family member or loved one decides not to give up on someone who is fighting this disease.

It's real, it's not going away and it's getting to the point that most of us at least know somebody who's lost their life to this epidemic.

If you're struggling, or know somebody who is, don't be afraid to ask for help. Every day it's ignored coukd be somebody's last....

P.S. fell free to PM me if you or a loved one is struggling. I'm happy to help however I can, and will obviously respect your privacy.

[Reinz]

I’m proud of you Craig. Turning your life around was monumental. I’m also proud of you for your willingness to give back.

[Avsha531]

I lost my sister to pills a year ago.

My daughter has relapsed from shooting up Meth countless times.

Just like y’all, I have many stories and hard emotions. If addicts only realized a fraction of the pain that loved ones go through along with them, they may reconsider what they are doing.

Thank you Helon and Craig for having the courage to share your struggles.

Hey Reinz, can't imagine what you went through and are going through here, I can certainly relate and my heart goes out to you.

One small thing I would like to point out that may be helpful to you, sharing from my own personal experience. An awareness and understanding of the pain they are causing others will not deter an addict from using. On the contrary, the guilt of it can keep the addict using even more. The disease of addiction is cunning, baffling, and powerful. Logically, it makes no sense. A person in active addiction doesn't understand why they keep destroying everything around them, but they have no choice but to keep doing it until they either die or a miracle happens for them. Just felt the need to share that, in sure after what you've been through with your family you understand.

Keep up the good work Helonwheelz, one day at a time

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[Avsha531]

I am pretty open about my past as well, I am a recovering IV heroin addict and alcoholic and my story very closely resembles the previous 2. Grateful to have 3 years

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[CALM Pythons]

Hey Reinz, can't imagine what you went through and are going through here, I can certainly relate and my heart goes out to you.

One small thing I would like to point out that may be helpful to you, sharing from my own personal experience. An awareness and understanding of the pain they are causing others will not deter an addict from using. On the contrary, the guilt of it can keep the addict using even more. The disease of addiction is cunning, baffling, and powerful. Logically, it makes no sense. A person in active addiction doesn't understand why they keep destroying everything around them, but they have no choice but to keep doing it until they either die or a miracle happens for them. Just felt the need to share that, in sure after what you've been through with your family you understand.



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100% on the money. First hand experience doing more coke because I did Coke..... what a disaster.
Im not very very religious but if there is a Devil, Drugs are his Weapon!!!!
I have a story thats to long to even get into right now.. Im going to jump in the shower so I can crash and get up at 4:30am for a job tomorrow.. but I will be back
Great Thread.. for everyone that comments, theres 1,000 that wonder if they should.



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[Avsha531]

100% on the money. First hand experience doing more coke because I did Coke..... what a disaster.
Im not very very religious but if there is a Devil, Drugs are his Weapon!!!!
I have a story thats to long to even get into right now.. Im going to jump in the shower so I can crash and get up at 4:30am for a job tomorrow.. but I will be back
Great Thread.. for everyone that comments, theres 1,000 that wonder if they should.



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Reminds me of a song I heard a while back:
"I do coke...so I can work harder...so I can earn more...so I can do more coke..."

My life right there lol

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