I'm conflicted...

[Craiga 01453]

As the title says, I'm conflicted. As many of you know, I'm planning my next addition. I've officially ruled out boas for at least a while. So I pretty much had my mind made up that I was going with a carpet next.
Here's where I've become conflicted...While handling some adult carpets at the Expo last weekend I could see that my girlfriend was a little uncomfortable. She's been super cool and supportive of me keeping snakes despite the fact that she was pretty much afraid of snakes before I came along.
There's just something about python and boa heads that makes her a bit uneasy. She absolutely adores Cosmo (hognose) and loves Django (King) despite him tagging her a while back. She likes the uniformity of the colubrids heads and bodies. There's just something about python and boa heads she doesn't like. That being said, she's made several comments lately about Tyson (BP) and how he's grown on her. She's still warming up to Juice (Borneo STP), but she's comfortable with him because she's so chill and slow-moving.

Soooooo, I'm actually thinking I might stay within her comfort range and add another BP or another STP. I think the size of the adult carpets combined with how active they are makes her a bit squeamish. So I'm thinking a carpet may be a ways out and may be my "final" snake when that time comes. The way I see it, she's the love of my life and comes before the snakes (she was here first, hahhaha), so why not find a happy medium? I still get to keep snakes, and there are some really awesome species that don't make her nervous, so I'm thinking I'll stick to what she's comfortable with. I still get to add new snakes, she stays within her comfort level. Win - win, right??

This is more of me venting than a question, but I'd be happy to hear some of your thoughts.
Thanks for reading. I look forward to some of your thoughts.

[Bogertophis]

Wise move on your part....and considerate. Don't mess it up now by rushing things.

[PiperPython]

I'm gonna be honest and say you should add a smaller boa and grow with it. They are typically super docile and not as jumpy and are voracious feeders. If you get one that has a bit of handling experience and isn't a true hatchling, there's very little to worry about. They are also very hardy. As far as size goes, you obviously don't mind since you already have a STP!

Carpets can sometimes be a handful and sometimes move a lot. My boy really doesn't care for being handled and moves so much so it makes my girlfriend very nervous. I've heard some of quick-to-defense carpets, but mine is just vocal and prefers running from me instead.

You already know what you're getting into with a STP and BP, so I won't comment other than I started with BPs and will not be buying anymore solely based on the lack of how little they 'do'.

My $0.02.

[Sonny1318]

I’ve been with my wife for twenty years. When we were together the first couple years she really fell in love with my snakes. I told her I always wanted to go further with my pets, she thought more snakes. Turns out I wanted tarantula’s. We ended up with like six and three scorpions. She kinda liked the scorpions, not so crazy about the spiders. I ended up getting hurt at work pretty bad and needed someone to take care of my collection. She was willing, she tried, it wasn’t fair at all to her. Long story short, spiders went to the swap the very next weekend. Even now I’m kinda contemplating getting rid of one of my boys for health reasons. If she’s the one, I’d really consider it from her point of view. Hope this helps a bit. You have such a beautiful diverse collection now, sure there is something out there for both of you. Good luck

[Craiga 01453]

If she’s the one, I’d really consider it from her point of view. Hope this helps a bit. You have such a beautiful diverse collection now, sure there is something out there for both of you. Good luck

Thanks so much! This is pretty much where my head is at.
I absolutely love variety, so wanted to venture into different species. But, thanks to all the morphs out there, I can have variety within species she's comfortable with. If I were ever to be injured and needed help, she'd most likely be ok changing water and feeding everything currently in the collection. So, thinking long term and thinking from another point of view, I feel it may be best for all involved to stick to what I've got, just more of them

[Craiga 01453]

As far as size goes, you obviously don't mind since you already have a STP!

You already know what you're getting into with a STP and BP, so I won't comment other than I started with BPs and will not be buying anymore solely based on the lack of how little they 'do'.

My $0.02.

Thanks for your $0.02! Oddly enough, she's not as bothered by the girth of an STP as she is by the length of other species. Length (over 5 or 6 feet) + girth combined is what she sees in her mind whenever I mention boa. She's simply not there yet, and in not going to rick the boat, especially since I have so many other options.

I think over time I'll educate her a bit more on carpets and feel it out somewhere down the road.

As for "how little they 'do'" in regards to BPs, I'm actually ok with it, which makes another BP an option.

Anyway, thanks for chiming in, I appreciate your time and thoughts. I haven't made any decisions yet, but the scales are tipping in a different direction these days.

[Stewart_Reptiles]

Your girlfriend sounds like my husband , fine with slender body snakes, heavier body not so much.

What you should do is get a smaller species of carpet if carpet are really what you want (IJ or Darwin) and get an hatchling, as it will grow up she will slowly get comfortable with it.

Just remember because you are in a relationship that does not mean you must have everything in common or like each other's hobby (my husband does not like snakeS all that much yet there are 60+ in my permanent collection and 100 to 200 babies each year. *EDIT: He does like one a honduran milksnake )

[PiperPython]

I agree, the status of the home is way more important than getting a particular species. I also have to think within reason, as my girlfriend is not the biggest fan of snakes and also prefers ball pythons. She will not handle my white-lipped pythons or my green tree pythons - but I offset that by getting her a couple ball pythons.

She was also put off by large snakes, and to her blood pythons are worse than boas and does not care for mine at all. She is coming around with the boas, we only have 1 adult boa so she's still going to have to get used to the size.

Maybe a Dumeril's boa would be a good compromise as a male won't get larger than an STP. Though if the shape of the head is sort of off-putting to her, their heads look way more intimidating than your average BI. Either way, keeping her happy will keep you happy, so trust your heart and your instinct.

Between the two, another STP would be my choice I want one of each so a brongersmai and curtus are somewhere on my list.

[Skyrivers]

Instead of adding right now, why not work on increasing her experience with larger pythons. Babies to adults. Let her warm up to the idea. Just a suggestion. Great you two are doing well.

[Craiga 01453]

Your girlfriend sounds like my husband , fine with slender body snakes, heavier body not so much.

What you should do is get a smaller species of carpet if carpet are really what you want (IJ or Darwin) and get an hatchling, as it will grow up she will slowly get comfortable with it.

Yeah, I looked at a few Irian Jaya carpets, that's probably where I'll land if I go that route. I do love the Bredlis though, hahahaha.