3:30am me switched Bob at Pro Products with Ali at Animal Plastics. Oops!
I woke up this morning with Virgil sleeping on top of his head behind his hot hide, and not in his cold hide like usual. I woke him up and he slithered halfway up my arm, tongue going, before going into his cold hide. He seemed to have no problem bending his body every which way. It does appear he scraped some scales off of the top of his head, but there is no blood, so I'm not incredibly concerned.
I'm going to get a lock installed, but in regards to Virgil I'm going to play the waiting game and see how he does. The nearest reptile vet is 45 minutes away, and Virgil passionately hates curvy car rides on a good day.
Thank you all for your advice. This could have gone a lot worse.