Quote Originally Posted by Cheesenugget View Post
Well, for one, you are not alone in this camp. There are dozens, thousands... Many many others who felt the same way or still do to this day about their emotions of their ex and current other. I was there once too, I think.

Secondly, are you sure you are in love with your ex? In other words, are you in love of the IMAGE of her or the good times you had with her? Be honest about this.

Many times when we had a break up, we sometimes get stuck of the good memories of that person and it replays in our minds. However, you may remember the bad times too but do you really accept them equally as the good times? Meaning, just as you remember the love and joy of her, how about the pain, betrayal and unrealistic expectations of her that she had of you?

Surely both sides make mistakes and relationships of all forms are hard. But this is your life too as much as it is your current gf. If you don't feel the same about your current gf, then move on regardless what you decide to do. That is not her fault.

Keep in mind, the grass always looks greener on the other side no matter what. Missing companionship and wanting that back is not the same as having a healthy relationship between 2 people where BOTH parties must sacrifice as well as compromise to stay together. If your ex runs for the hills at the first sign of trouble, what does that say about your relationship with her to begin with?

What do I know though. I'm currently in marriage counseling so I am learning along with my spouse.
I have tried to be as objective as possible. The bad times are just as real as the good. I know who she is and that has not changed. I love her but don't agree with her choices. I want so badly to ignore the bad but I know reality. Do I think there will not be hard times and it would be easy? Not at all. For me, it is hard either way. I so miss the good. What it feels like to be close to her. Feel her. I do know that the path to her leaving was both our fought but she is the one who jumped ship and to be with another person. Now the grass is not so green anymore. Almost a month after she left she begged me to forgive her and I was too angry. I am very angry as well as hurt. My heart wants to just forgive and take as much amazing as I can (and was more amazing that I ever imagined before we went through that job loss. After hurting me the way she did I am not sure TRUST will ever be completely restored. You don't quite when things get hard, you pull together and fight through it. She gave up and now regrets it. I want to forgive her. I can not ignore truth in her and her actions. I don't have to make decision today but I have a lot to think about.