I found out a good way to decrease maternal aggression. Instead of always taking rat pups from a mom just pull a few big ones and replace with a few smaller ones. It will throw them off, they won't be nearly as aggressive in the future.
To me it seems that the only ones stressed by picking up by the tail are the really big heavy males. Seems like it's a lot of stress on the tail but I've never hurt the tail or had them seem like they were in pain. But I do clean tubs side by side, so they are only airborne for 1-2 seconds!