Short stupid jokes

[green_man]

k everybody, lets see how many jokes we can list...
Ill start. I read this one in a readers digest while my wife was getting a hair cut, and laughed pretty hard. I got some funny looks.

One day, shortly after being diagnosed with ADD, a child said this to his father:

Boy: "Dad, how many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
Dad: "How many son?"
Boy: "Lets go ride bikes!"

:boo: :boo: :boo:

[sophie42204]

A lonely frog, desparate for some form of company telephoned the Psychic Hotline to find out what his future holds.
His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you."
The frog is thrilled and says, "This is great! Where will I meet her, at work, at a party?"
"No" says the psychic, "in a Biology class."

[Schlyne]

A boy was crossing the road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful Princess, I will stay with you for one week." The boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to his pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful Princess, I'll stay with you and do *Anything* you want." Again the boy took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally the frog asked, "What is it? I've told you I'm a beautiful Princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do *Anything* you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The boy said, "Look, I'm an engineering major. I don't have time for girlfriends, but a talking frog is really cool."

[First_time_herp]

A teacher walked into his kindergarden classroom and saw a five year old boy throwing books around and smoking a cigar. So the teacher said:
"Stop you can't that!
And the kid replied: "This is a progressive school you can do whatever you want.
So the teacher killed him.

[Ironhead]

A teacher was teaching her class one day about whales and told them that it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human. Little Sally disagreed with her teacher saying that "well, a whale swallowed Jonah" The teacher repeated that a whale could not have possibly swallowed Jonah...it's just impossible. The girl replied "well when I get to Heaven I will ask Jonah" and the teacher said to her "well what if Jonah went to Hell?" Little Sally replied by saying "Well, in that case, you can ask him."

[First_time_herp]

Great one Ironhead!
By the way, the Bible states that Jnah was swollowed by a big fish, not really a whale.
Heres one a made up:
A father walked into his son's bedroom and saw he had smashed everything in his room. He was furious and yelled:
"Whay are you braking everything in your room?"
The boy replied:
"Dad, its not braking, its reverse engineering."

[gen]

So this pirate walked into a bar. The bartender noticed that he had a big stearing wheel on his pants. So the bartender asked him, "Why do you have that stearing wheel on your pants?" And the pirate said, "ARRRR! It's drivin' me nuts!"

[Marla]

I love that one Gen!

What did Tennessee? The same thing Arkansas! (My kids loved that one when they were little.)

Why did the math book go to the school counselor? Because he had lots of problems!

What were George W. Bush's three hardest years? Second grade.

[gen]

I love that one Gen!

Yeah, it's even funnier when my 9 year old nephew says it.

[Shaun J]

cool one marla i don't get the third one but the 1st and 2nd one i love them