I didnt know where to put this... selfish or not? (Long Post)

[Soord]

No one is badmouthing people down on their luck and those who actually really need help, the only ones badmouthed here are the people who feel entitled those who want to use the system get a free ride by getting a snake with someone else money which is SHAMEFUL at the very least.....can't help if YOU take it personally, it was your question and no matter how you spin it, how you call it, whether it's active or not, it's just YOU trying to justify the idea of getting a free ride (and you have done that a lot for someone with a fictional scenario)

Bottom line it is still what it it getting a free ride, taking the easy way, and truly if you can't afford a $200 own your own and need other to pay for it than you should not have that snake to start with, let alone have it part of a breeding project.

If you want to do it and can live with it than by all mean do so, are you expecting to be praised too? Oh and that will look good in your BIO to if one day you have your own website

I would say calling everyone not physically or mentally disabled in need "helpless" is bad-mouthing. From what I've seen volunteering at a food pantry is that its mostly just a situation out of their control then it is really tough to get out of that situation. Especially for refugees fleeing war. I wouldn't call them helpless by any means, just that they have no options. I understand what you mean, though. You have a really strong bias toward people that don't work for money. Probably because you work very hard for your money so you are very protective of it. It is a difference of opinion we have in that I see putting out a goal and getting donations for it as not a shameful thing. The point of this post was for me to play the devil's advocate and see how your side (the side that sees using strangers money as shameful) thinks and feels in this situation. I think I mentioned that I've never crowdfunded and had no plans to do it it is just alien to me to how people can think it's shameful to put up something saying "trying to get a beautiful snake, donate here to help if you want".

For what it's worth I have two websites already and I work as a computer engineer for a healthcare company contracted by the DoD. I also am in the recruiting process of Google so I may or may not be in Silicone Valley soon in case anyone was curious about me. To get the snake I'd have to wait like another 2 weeks for paycheck, I purposely didn't mention this because I didn't want it to make a difference with reasoning how fast I could make the 300 and wanted to see if that was a reason for someone's thoughts. This whole scenario started as a joke because I wanted a couple of cool snakes at the same time and it escalated way more than I could have imagined.

Some final thoughts I have are that people get surprisingly polarized about this situation. I've asked many people this question since this even happened and it's split pretty evenly over people that think it's fine and people that think it's the most selfish thing since Judas. Another surprising thing is the amount of assumptions people make about others they have never met. From their husbandry (yes I'm still salty) to their experiences to their age to how smart come off as based off a difference of opinion in a definition about what is begging and what isn't and preconceived notions about what begging means to them. I've decided that after a few days of this I'm pretty tired of talking about it and extra tired of ageism that is starting to happen, so I doubt I'll respond anymore. Feel free to keep talking if you want I'll probably throw some thanks here and there if I agree. Also feel free to message if you think it's an interesting topic or want to discuss morals more (as long as you stay civil).

In the end, donate how you want be careful about asking for things cause some people get pissed. And I hope this didn't cause too many people to hate me.

P.S. I felt kinda bad for even fictionally taking money based off some of these comments so I donated some money to my local zoo.

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[Slim]

The factors that go into one becoming homeless is very complex and to put 70% of all homeless people into the category of "learned helplessness" is pretty unfair.

Speaking as one who has been homeless, and within the last 4 years (a story for another time), I understand the complexities quite well. Learned helplessness does not put people out of doors, but if you think it's not a factor in keeping many of them there, you Sir, are the naïve one.

The whole point of this thread was to explore the public thoughts and morality around the situation not to badmouth people less fortunate than us.

Well, you got your wish. I'm sorry you don't like or agree, or maybe even understand the results of the public thoughts contained here in. I never bad mouthed anyone. And as I've stated, I've been homeless, and through the mental health system. I may not be an expert, but I do have experience.

I wouldn't call them helpless by any means, just that they have no options.

I hope that with time and wisdom, you'll come to understand that everyone has options. Sometimes none of the options are appealing, but everyone has them.

[AntTheDestroyer]

Just because 70% don't have recognized or documented mental disability doesn't mean laziness is keeping them from rejoining society. As with many homeless veterans, whom most our country has turned their backs on, trauma based mental illness like ptsd does not allow them to re-enter society. There are many other factors like past criminal transgressions and addiction. The fact that you base your opinion on anecdotal evidence instead of really trying to understand the factors says a lot about said opinion. What frustrates me is we will never be able fix this problem, for veterans and civilians alike, with a good number of people sharing your uniformed opinion. I respect that you have served our country and thank you for your service, but you need to realize in this matter you are no expert. I have met and talked with numerous military personel, but I do not claim to know anything about being a soldier.

[Willowy]

Learned helplessness is, in a way, a form of PTSD, yes? When you've been punished for trying so often that you just stop trying because there's no point? I believe that's the scientific definition anyway, unless we're talking about something else. I guess my reaction to somone saying that someone else is experiencing learned helplessness is not "OMG, how dare you say they choose to be this way!" because learned helplessness is not chosen.

[Slim]

As with many homeless veterans, whom most our country has turned their backs on, trauma based mental illness like ptsd does not allow them to re-enter society. There are many other factors like past criminal transgressions and addiction. What frustrates me is we will never be able fix this problem, for veterans and civilians alike

This is a classic example of how you are part of the problem, because you refuse to accept that there can be a solution...

The fact that you base your opinion on anecdotal evidence instead of really trying to understand the factors says a lot about said opinion....you need to realize in this matter you are no expert.

Da Hell? Did you freakin' miss the part where I freakin' explained to you that I have been recently homeless, and have spent extended periods of time in the VA's freakin' mental health system?

And while that does not make me an expert, as you say, I personally believe that I know one hell of a lot more about it than you do, so tell me one more freakin' time I don't know what I'm talking about then go back to your academic study of the freakin' problem, but waste my time no more.

Learned helplessness is, in a way, a form of PTSD, yes?

That would be splitting a very fine hair...

Learned helplessness is behavior typical of an organism (human or animal) that has endured repeated painful or otherwise aversive stimuli which it was unable to escape or avoid. After such experience, the organism often fails to learn escape or avoidance in new situations where such behavior would be effective. In other words, the organism seems to have learned that it is helpless in aversive situations, that it has lost control, and so it gives up trying.

Posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental disorder that can develop after a person is exposed to a traumatic event, such as sexual assault, warfare, traffic collisions, or other threats. Symptoms may include disturbing thoughts, feelings, or dreams related to the events, mental or physical distress to trauma-related cues, attempts to avoid trauma-related cues, and alterations in how a person thinks and feels.

[Willowy]

Yes. . .but it's not a thing where you can just say, "welp, time to not feel helpless about everything, guess I'll choose to have some self-confidence and lead a typical middle-class existence now". It's a mental/emotional illness that requires just as much professional help as any other mental/emotional illness. The pathetic state of mental and emotional health care in this country is mostly responsible for a lot of it, I'd have to say.

[AntTheDestroyer]

Um using your own personal experience to describe a problem that effects million of people is exactly the definition of anecdotal evidence. No I am not an expert but my wife who has a Masters in social work and has worked with the homeless population in different facets is. So do I think that I am more informed than you? Yes, absolutely. I will let my wife and her numerous veteran clients know that you think we are the problem.

[Slim]

Yepper, because living a thing is exactly like reading about a thing...or hearing about it from your wife.

[Morjean]

In my own humble opinion, starting a fundraiser like this is no issue.

There's no obligation to donate, no one's forcing anyone. Its a "hey, I'm planning a thing and some funds to help me would be nice, if you want to help me, that would be great! Thank you!". Easy breezy, you can donate if you want to, if you don't --- then you don't! That's not helping someone in need, it's being nice to a stranger, in a "pay it forward" manner.
The stranger at the coffee shop who spilled his coffee doesn't NEED the money either, and isn't homeless, but it's still a nice gesture of me to buy him a new coffee anyway bc I have the spare pocket money and a good day. Call it handouts if you wish, I call it voluntarily being nice so perhaps next chance the person pays it forward. Karma, if you wish.

As long as you don't make up some fake bullcrap story about how much you neeeeed the money to live, and how your mother is dying and needs medicine, it's all chill in my own moral views. Just make sure that in the end you have enough funds, however you got them, to properly care for the animal in the long run.

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