Driving my friends crazy in Oregon. Nice to meet you!

[m1lkhoney]

Hi! I'm new! Obviously! Exclamations! I recently moved to Portland and, despite giving off 0 murderer vibe, am having trouble making friends.

You see, I have a python problem. No, this need caps lock. I have a Python Problem. I HAVE A PROBLEM.

I first held a ball python about two or three months ago and ever since then, I have lost my dang mind. I breathe and sleep for morphs. I throw around "genotype" and "phenotype" and "heterozygous" like a crazy person while casually socializing (ha, not anymore) at bars, although it does take a bit of vodka. My phone's gallery is nothing but snake pictures so I can reverse search each one later to see what morph it is. Coral glow? Yes please, I will take twelve.

Did I mention I don't even have a ball python? A few people, bless their hearts, started a fundraiser for me and tomorrow I'm finally getting a little Lesser male named Henry, along with a tank and enough supplies to crush a small toddler. We've never met, Henry and I, but it's not like that's ever stopped me from using Tinder!

Here's the problem. I think I am slowly driving my friends crazy, which in turn is driving me crazy. As mentioned, all I think about is ball pythons. All I want to talk about is ball pythons (well, and vodka.) The last thing my friends want to talk about is ball pythons (well, unless they've had some of my vodka.) I was sort of dating someone (Tinder, am I right?!) and I managed to push him away hard enough that he's now pursuing an eighteen year old named Lilly. She dislikes snakes. This is her selling point. AND HE IS THE ONE WHO GOT ME INTO SNAKES. I have no one in real life to talk to about how snakes are slowly becoming my life.

Do I go to reptile expos? I think one's coming here in August. (Ok one is definitely coming here on August 20 and there's a $1 coupon on the website which should totally convince a friend to come with me. ) Maybe there's some sort of Crazy Reptile Lady Support Group in my area? I don't know. I just wish my friends understood. But I also wish I had a pony. (hahahaha juuuuuuust kidding I wish I had a breeding rack. For snakes. Not ponies. That is not how you breed ponies.)

Sorry for the long-winded post. Anyway, nice to meet you. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go sit in my room, snakeless and alone.)