Children & hobbies... are they mutually exclusive?

[jclaiborne]

Agreed my son doesn't have a cell phone and is very limited to TV and video games, the only time he is on a computer is when his homework requires research, other than that he is outside being a kid, climbing and getting dirty. It is up to the parent to be active and raise the child, if they children are "addicted" to TV, cell phones, etc it is the parents fault.

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[CantHelpIt]

You don't have to give up hobbies or passions for your kids. INCLUDE THEM!
Of course you will need the occasional time to be alone but I cannot stand parents who consider a tv or iPad to be parenting. Spend time with your kids! If you want to know whats wrong with this world, its technology. Take your kids outside after school, don't sit them down infront of the television. Fishing and hunting are amazing things to do, teach them the value of a life, respect the food they eat, and enjoy nature.
Let them learn responsibility taking care of another living thing, not running down crowds of pedestrians on GTA

I grew up in a family where both my parents worked and I rarely saw my dad but once every year we would load up the motor home and travel around North America for 5 weeks sight seeing, hiking, swimming, everything and I cherish those times. Spend all the time you can with kids doing things you both love and things will change, but it doesn't mean you have to drop everything and only be a parent.

I'm quite young (19) so I can't say much but I lost my mother not long back and I wish I could have been more involved in what my parents liked. My dad and I now build cars together, dirt bike, travel and have a real relationship. I can't wait to have kids and share my passions with them and teach them about life and genuinely enjoy time with them. There is nothing like the uninhibited joy of a child handling a snake, the smile on my 8 year old cousin when she handles my little corn snake is priceless, she's not scared of it, she's amazed and wants to know everything about them (she also picks up every bug and insect she finds in the yard and gives them a kiss)

All in all, teach your kids to be a compassionate human being and spend all the time you can with them because it doesn't last forever.

[Slim]

I cannot stand parents who consider a tv or iPad to be parenting.

Not a substitute for parenting, but show me a parent who hasn't occasionally used Sesame Street as an inexpensive baby sitter so they could get laundry done, and I'll show you a parent who never raised twins...

[CantHelpIt]

Not a substitute for parenting, but show me a parent who hasn't occasionally used Sesame Street as an inexpensive baby sitter so they could get laundry done, and I'll show you a parent who never raised twins...

I completely understand having to sit a down kid and entertain him to do things around the house, but I have also experienced parents who solely use technologies to distract their kids so that they will not have to play with them, take them out with them and to simply do what they want alone.

Of course the majority of parents are not like that, especially parents who planned to have the child, but some people do use technology as their babysitter in excess

Kids are a ton of work, therefore you have to be prepared to spend time with them and to potentially put some of your projects on hold but I don't believe you have to give up everything to be a parent, of course I don't have first hand experience raising a child though

[JoshSloane]

It's funny, but I always wanted kids my entire life, and my fiancé was dead set on never having kids. When we met, my fiancé then decided she absolutely wanted kids, but I ultimately changed my mind, deciding I wanted to instead just focus on loving her and our lives together.

We aren't sure where our future will lead us, but we are absolutely sure that we want animals to be a big part of our lives no matter what.

[Reinz]

It's funny, but I always wanted kids my entire life, and my fiancé was dead set on never having kids. When we met, my fiancé then decided she absolutely wanted kids, but I ultimately changed my mind, deciding I wanted to instead just focus on loving her and our lives together.

We aren't sure where our future will lead us, but we are absolutely sure that we want animals to be a big part of our lives no matter what.

When we married, we both wanted kids, but wanted to devote to each other as well.

What we did was purposefully wait 5 years before trying. That gave us plenty of time to love each other madly and travel our brains out.

Having enjoyed our lives together and knowing each other's soul intimately, we were ready at 5 yrs.

[jclaiborne]

Just for an example, I was 21 when my son was born (10 months after I got home from deployment), active duty Marine Corps, I was a single parent from the day he was born (walked out of the hospital with him at 3 days old). I worked night shift for the first 8 months of his life and didn't move in with my now wife until he was 2 years old. Even with that type of busy lifestyle I still made time for hobbies with him, he had his first off roading trip at 8 months, first car show at 12 months, etc.

So I guess what I am getting at is that you can make it work as long as you are willing to.

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[PitOnTheProwl]

Not a substitute for parenting, but show me a parent who hasn't occasionally used Sesame Street as an inexpensive baby sitter so they could get laundry done, and I'll show you a parent who never raised twins...

Are we talking about 30 years ago or the junk they do now?

[Coluber42]

I don't want kids and neither does my partner (we've never gotten married, but we've been together for 12 years). We both like our independence and our ability to drop what we're doing and go away for the weekend. My sister and her husband both always wanted kids, and now they have them. It's just a question of what you really want out of life, but taking care of one snake is about my speed.

As for hobbies, I think it rather depends. Breeding geckos has the advantage that you do it at home, and while you have to care for your animals on a regular basis, a lot of the tasks involved are ones that you could theoretically work around other things - like, clean a couple of bins then change a diaper then clean a couple more, then feed the baby, let the toddler watch while you feed them, etc. And some hobbies let you take the baby along, like hiking.

Other things don't necessarily work like that. Our major time consuming hobby is long distance cycling, where our short events are between 6 and 12 hours, and longer ones may go 24, 40, or longer (the longest common distance is 750 miles and has a 90 hour time limit). Even if you're fortunate enough to have a series of events relatively close to home, it's a lot of time away. Demographically, these events skew heavily toward people of an age where their kids are at least in high school if not college; there aren't all that many riders under 35 or so; and while I can think of a *small* handful of male riders with young children (and presumably with spouses who deserve sainthood) who do our events, I can't think of ANY female riders with young children who do them.

So the downside is that people either go on a long hiatus while they reproduce, or they don't even start until their kids are older. But the upside is that it doesn't give your body the kind of pounding that running can, and people keep doing it well into their 60's and even 70's. So even if they can't really participate with young kids at home, they can have kids and still get in a couple of decades of long events.

[Hypancistrus]

I do agree with distaff about the political correctness that has invaded our education system.

And I do agree with Reinz that every generation feels that the way they were brought up was tougher and better than how children are being raised today.

I am in education so yeah, there is a lot that is messed up about our system. A LOT. To the point where, as a public school teacher, I have considered not putting my kids in public school here. But then again... as an educator, I know that school will be "supplementary" to what I teach my kids, so I think if we choose our home and neighborhood wisely, we may be okay with public school.

You don't have to give up hobbies or passions for your kids. INCLUDE THEM!
Of course you will need the occasional time to be alone but I cannot stand parents who consider a tv or iPad to be parenting. Spend time with your kids! If you want to know whats wrong with this world, its technology. Take your kids outside after school, don't sit them down infront of the television. Fishing and hunting are amazing things to do, teach them the value of a life, respect the food they eat, and enjoy nature.
Let them learn responsibility taking care of another living thing, not running down crowds of pedestrians on GTA

I grew up in a family where both my parents worked and I rarely saw my dad but once every year we would load up the motor home and travel around North America for 5 weeks sight seeing, hiking, swimming, everything and I cherish those times. Spend all the time you can with kids doing things you both love and things will change, but it doesn't mean you have to drop everything and only be a parent.

These are great points. I am totally hopeful that if we have a kid in the "elementary school" age range, that we will be able to include him or her in our activities. We are both teachers, so we will have summers off to spend with the kid. We love camping and hiking, and summer is great for those things. We both have great and involved families-- so our "village" is great.

I am glad to hear everyone's perspectives on this, and that most of you feel that being a herp keeper and a parent can go hand in hand. Anyone got cute pics of their kids holding their herps? I can't wait to introduce my sisters kid to my animals. I'm so excited about being an aunt, I can barely imagine how excited I'd be to have my own kid.