I am pissed.

[Lizardlicks]

Instead of fixing the tank go get a plastic tub/latchbox/under bed plastic tub. You can use the UTH and t-stat from the tank for it, and wrap a nylon non-stretchy luggage strap or cargo/camping tie-down around the middle so the snake can't escape by flexing the tub in the middle of the long side.

Exactly what I was gonna suggest, though I use binder clips instead of luggage straps. Sterilite tub is gonna be pennies compared to a tank, and they tend to heat and retain humidity much better than a tank anyway. Might not look as pretty, but it'll probably be better for the snake in the long run.