Okay, first: relax. BPs are small but hardy little creatures and have survived for millions of years, I'm sure they don't always have perfectly ideal conditions in Africa.
I had very similar experience. Asked for afternoon delivery, waited all day and then the pet store guys dropped off everything including the snake on a Friday evening and left and the store was closed. I just stood there looking at all the stuff for a few minutes wondering what the heck I'd got myself into.
Since the UTH is already on the tank, get a roll of aluminum tape from hardware store for $5 and tape the probe onto it UNDER the tank, near where the warm hide will be in the tank.
Secondly: if the snake is threatening you when putting in the water bowl - move the water bowl to somewhere he can't reach you! It doesn't have to be in the middle.
Third: maybe the newspaper is soaked? It's hard to believe the humidity in the tank is 75%.
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