I know you mean this post as a joke, but the actual answer is because it's way too big and he does't feel secure in it. The log hides have a similar problem, in that they are open on two sides, creating a feeling of insecurity there as well.

From the care guide on this site: "Whether store-bought or homemade, a ball python will prefer a hide that is small and snug-fitting, so that it feels "hugged" on all side and even from above."