Generally, it is easy to remember if you think of flames as things that go upward, just like the flames in a fire (the burn-y thing, not the BP morph). They are the light areas that reach from the belly upwards. And blushing is on top, just like when a person blushes it is on top (in their face anyway). They are lighter areas in the section of the pattern on the top of the snake that "should" be dark.
A snake with a lot of flames & blushing will often have them merge together so you can't really tell where the flames end and the blushing begins.
As has been pointed out, the snake in the first post of this thread has a fair amount of flames, but very little blushing. At the bottom of the second pic, you can see one of those flames & blushing runs together areas, but it's a pretty subtle one and there is hardly any blushing at all other than that spot.
If I had that snake and wanted to use her for breeding, I'd pair her with a yellow belly (or ivory), and hope to get some YBs with super nice flames.
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