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  1. #1
    No One of Consequence wilomn's Avatar
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    My Glass Must Be Broken

    I have filled my glass with beer twice now. Twice I have set it down for a matter of could only be a few minutes, just long enough to build up thirst enough to make the urge to quaff strong enough to impel momentum to movement and get my big fat ass to move enough to grasp said container of wondrous elixir, only to find that in the intervening span the golden nectar once nestled so securely within is crystaline confine, had seemingly evaporated into the very ether itslef, slet, itself, yes, itself.

    I will continue my observations of this alarming phenomena for as long as I am able, but I felt duty bound to my fellow barley belters to alert them to this terrible disappearance of the blood of Mother Earth herself in hope that they too would not suffer as am I, questioning my very sanity, or sobriety, as it were.
    I may not be very smart, but what if I am?
    Stinky says, "Women should be obscene but not heard." Stinky is one smart man.
    www.humanewatch.org

  2. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to wilomn For This Useful Post:

    AlexisFitzy (06-05-2014),Heeltoeclutch (10-10-2014),Kodieh (06-01-2014)

  3. #2
    No One of Consequence wilomn's Avatar
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    It's just happened again. I swear I only looked away for a few minutes and somehow the glass emptied itself. I'll try to pay closer attention next time. I didn't see a thing this time. It must be some sort of elaborate prank. How else could such vital (and close to hand) liquid, simply vanish as if it were never there to begin with? This should trouble me, I think, more than it does. I'll have to consult the bottles left in the fridge to see if they may have some clue as to the missing contents of their brothers now relieved of their sacred burden.
    Last edited by wilomn; 06-01-2014 at 04:03 AM.
    I may not be very smart, but what if I am?
    Stinky says, "Women should be obscene but not heard." Stinky is one smart man.
    www.humanewatch.org

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  5. #3
    BPnet Lifer rlditmars's Avatar
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    Re: My Glass Must Be Broken

    Tis a strange phenomenon indeed Brother. I have experienced it myself once or twice. Seems the only way to get through it is to keep filling the vessel. Eventually you slip into a slumber and awake to find the situation has remedied itself, until the next time.

  6. #4
    No One of Consequence wilomn's Avatar
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    Re: My Glass Must Be Broken

    Sage advice, no doubt of it. I've tried again and once more than that even and still have not caught the thief. Slicker'n snot on a hot iron skillet he is. I filled her once more, for the last time tonight, with hopes of catching the vile crook who steals my liquid nutrition. Heavy though my eyelids are, I'm game to give it one more go, to see if I can see at least the sneaky pest who has so plagued my this whole night through.
    I may not be very smart, but what if I am?
    Stinky says, "Women should be obscene but not heard." Stinky is one smart man.
    www.humanewatch.org

  7. #5
    BPnet Senior Member ChrisS's Avatar
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    Re: My Glass Must Be Broken

    I hope you caught this varmint as he stole the drink from my 40 last night.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  8. #6
    No One of Consequence wilomn's Avatar
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    I thought I saw something several times, but every time I managed to focus there was nothing there that oughtn't be. A dimensional portal may exist within the confines of the glass I was drinking out of which would explain the continual disappearance of the liquids poured within.

    I will have to put further research into this in the near future.
    I may not be very smart, but what if I am?
    Stinky says, "Women should be obscene but not heard." Stinky is one smart man.
    www.humanewatch.org

  9. #7
    BPnet Veteran CatandDiallo's Avatar
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    It was me.

    Reach for the stars, and if you don't grab them at least you'll fall on top of the world.

  10. #8
    No One of Consequence wilomn's Avatar
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    Re: My Glass Must Be Broken

    Quote Originally Posted by CatandDiallo View Post
    It was me.
    I know you're on the small side, but I have GOT to get my glasses checked. If my beer has to disappear, down the gullet of a pretty girl is no bad way to go.
    I may not be very smart, but what if I am?
    Stinky says, "Women should be obscene but not heard." Stinky is one smart man.
    www.humanewatch.org

  11. #9
    BPnet Lifer MrLang's Avatar
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    You're drunk, Wilomn... go home!
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  12. #10
    BPnet Veteran CatandDiallo's Avatar
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    Re: My Glass Must Be Broken

    Quote Originally Posted by wilomn View Post
    I know you're on the small side, but I have GOT to get my glasses checked. If my beer has to disappear, down the gullet of a pretty girl is no bad way to go.
    It's my newly acquired Gongfu skills.

    I am so sick of horrible Chinese beer (max out at a whopping 3.3% with no flavour) I just had to.

    Reach for the stars, and if you don't grab them at least you'll fall on top of the world.

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