LOL! You sound like my husband.
We knew that.:p
And haha, I've had the same hairdresser for 12 years. She's awesome and I don't let anybody else touch my hair. Only twice has anybody else ever cut it. Once each time she was out on maternity leave and I couldn't wait.
I would consider shoulder length on the long side of short. I'd never go that short. Mine right now when I let it be curly is just past bra line. When I blow dry it straight is more midway between that and top of pants waist. I'm just thinking like maybe 3-4 inches off. I don't know, lol.