Please remember that I am a complete novice to snakes and reptiles in general (and amphibians). There are a few things that I am expecting to compromise on, but that's a general idea of what I'm looking for.
I know it's not on your list but just a regular old corn snake gets my vote. Normal corns are one of the most beautiful snakes around with their striking colors and patterns. They're virtually bullet proof as far as snakes go and handle real nice too. It's really the perfect species and will always be one of the coolest snakes in my eyes. I still get a bigger thrill out of finding a nice corn when herping over pretty much anything else.