This, to a tee. Finding someone with similar values is far more essential than finding someone with common interests. What you value, what you believe, some of the core things that make up who you are will have a far greater impact on a long-term relationship than whether or not you both like reptiles or play video games.
My husband and I DO have reptiles in common, but when we met we were at completely different places in life & the last thing either of us was looking for was a relationship. The snakes gave us a common interest from which our friendship grew, and we found out we had a LOT more in common than just snakes. Our core values, our goals, what we wanted out of life, those things were far greater and far more binding. Getting to know one another without the motive or pretense of seeking a relationship allowed us to develop an amazing friendship where we could talk about anything and everything, and ultimately trust one another. A solid friendship with no surprises makes an excellent foundation for something long-term.
Now we also have separate interests in addition to our common ones - my dog shows & his catfish tournaments. We each make it a point to attend the other's events whenever possible as a way to show support and spend time together. Not necessarily because we love the hobby (although I do enjoy fishing a smidge more than he enjoys dog shows), but because we love each other and want to bear witness to one another's lives.
I also totally agree with the above recommendation of not seeking out a relationship at all. What you find when you aren't looking may surprise you.![]()