So, are my requirements too hard/high?

[Mike41793]

Yea, i think your requirements are too specific. Don't look for a chick into the same stuff as you, just look for a chick that supports your interests.

For example...
I don't like horses at all. I think they're awful creatures. But if found a chick i liked who was willing to put up with my quirks and support my interests, you can bet your ass i'd be in the backyard building a barn of biblical proportions hahaha

[Mike41793]

I'm sure you can find a girl that likes reptiles at a reptile expo.

I've been using craigslist's "missed connections" section. Is that a good place to look for love too??

[Neal]

Yea, i think your requirements are too specific. Don't look for a chick into the same stuff as you, just look for a chick that supports your interests.

For example...
I don't like horses at all. I think they're awful creatures. But if found a chick i liked who was willing to put up with my quirks and support my interests, you can bet your ass i'd be in the backyard building a barn of biblical proportions hahaha

Mike if you'd read the whole thread you'd see where I was more specific with what I meant , read read read

I think horses look confused, on a side note.

I've been using craigslist's "missed connections" section. Is that a good place to look for love too??

Yea, searching for a girl off craigslist can only lead to disaster, plus most are probably bots since when I post stuff for sale that's all that ever emails me or texts me.

[liv]

I've been using craigslist's "missed connections" section. Is that a good place to look for love too??

Great place to find love, herpes and a new bike!

[Stewart_Reptiles]

If my criteria were about video games, movies or being a reptile lover or animal lover in general, I would be single right now.

My criteria were to find someone honest, kind and loving, someone that would share values similar to mine.

My husband does not care about video games or snakes, just like I do not care about some of his interest, however because we love each other even if we might not understand each others passion or interest we support one another.

[Valvaren]

I'll say what's been said, don't look you, won't find them, it'll happen when you least expect it. My fiancee and I were best friends before we started dating, got to a point we realized we did everything together and made each other happy and then it was like "why not?". I find the people that stumble into each other make the best couples. It's been 5 1/2 years, lots of scaly kids we both love, lots of game nights we share, as well as MTG and anime. If I had put requirements on someone I might not even noticed the guy who met my requirements and those I didn't even know existed.

There were times I thought I'd always be single, all my friends we going through S. Os like crazy, always trying to find that perfect one. Our relationship is more trust worthy, fun and happy then any of my friend have or have had.

She'll come along and you won't even remember there was a time you were looking for something else.

[Neal]

I'll say what's been said, don't look you, won't find them, it'll happen when you least expect it. My fiancee and I were best friends before we started dating, got to a point we realized we did everything together and made each other happy and then it was like "why not?". I find the people that stumble into each other make the best couples. It's been 5 1/2 years, lots of scaly kids we both love, lots of game nights we share, as well as MTG and anime. If I had put requirements on someone I might not even noticed the guy who met my requirements and those I didn't even know existed.

There were times I thought I'd always be single, all my friends we going through S. Os like crazy, always trying to find that perfect one. Our relationship is more trust worthy, fun and happy then any of my friend have or have had.

She'll come along and you won't even remember there was a time you were looking for something else.

I'm not really looking, but it would be nice to happen. Hell I couldn't possibly be looking because I don't go anywhere

[Kara]

If my criteria were about video games, movies or being a reptile lover or animal lover in general, I would be single right now.

My criteria were to find someone honest, kind and loving, someone that would share values similar to mine.

My husband does not care about video games or snakes, just like I do not care about some of his interest, however because we love each other even if we might not understand each others passion or interest we support one another.

This, to a tee. Finding someone with similar values is far more essential than finding someone with common interests. What you value, what you believe, some of the core things that make up who you are will have a far greater impact on a long-term relationship than whether or not you both like reptiles or play video games.

My husband and I DO have reptiles in common, but when we met we were at completely different places in life & the last thing either of us was looking for was a relationship. The snakes gave us a common interest from which our friendship grew, and we found out we had a LOT more in common than just snakes. Our core values, our goals, what we wanted out of life, those things were far greater and far more binding. Getting to know one another without the motive or pretense of seeking a relationship allowed us to develop an amazing friendship where we could talk about anything and everything, and ultimately trust one another. A solid friendship with no surprises makes an excellent foundation for something long-term.

Now we also have separate interests in addition to our common ones - my dog shows & his catfish tournaments. We each make it a point to attend the other's events whenever possible as a way to show support and spend time together. Not necessarily because we love the hobby (although I do enjoy fishing a smidge more than he enjoys dog shows ), but because we love each other and want to bear witness to one another's lives.

I also totally agree with the above recommendation of not seeking out a relationship at all. What you find when you aren't looking may surprise you.

[Neal]

This, to a tee. Finding someone with similar values is far more essential than finding someone with common interests. What you value, what you believe, some of the core things that make up who you are will have a far greater impact on a long-term relationship than whether or not you both like reptiles or play video games.

My husband and I DO have reptiles in common, but when we met we were at completely different places in life & the last thing either of us was looking for was a relationship. The snakes gave us a common interest from which our friendship grew, and we found out we had a LOT more in common than just snakes. Our core values, our goals, what we wanted out of life, those things were far greater and far more binding. Getting to know one another without the motive or pretense of seeking a relationship allowed us to develop an amazing friendship where we could talk about anything and everything, and ultimately trust one another. A solid friendship with no surprises makes an excellent foundation for something long-term.

Now we also have separate interests in addition to our common ones - my dog shows & his catfish tournaments. We each make it a point to attend the other's events whenever possible as a way to show support and spend time together. Not necessarily because we love the hobby (although I do enjoy fishing a smidge more than he enjoys dog shows ), but because we love each other and want to bear witness to one another's lives.

I also totally agree with the above recommendation of not seeking out a relationship at all. What you find when you aren't looking may surprise you.

Well of course the honesty and other traits are going to be a part, that's a given

[MrLang]

Neal - as far as not looking, that's a good thing. When you start worrying too much about defining what you want, you'll overwrite the part about what actually fits with you. Most people have NO idea what they want but they think they do. Trying to define someone by personality traits is very hard. People have poor self awareness and even worse abilities to identify what they want in a lover. As far as not going anywhere or doing anything, that's not such a good thing. I do however think that the internet is a great place to find someone if you're in that boat.

My girlfriend is my best friend. The personality compatibility/traits and shared interests are just things that lead to the depth of friendship. We started out as acquaintances and then became friends, then best friends, then started dating. That process of building the relationship is important - a lot of people try to 'dive in' or experience 'love at first sight' - those people experience a rocky road before finding someone that's right for them. In that process, I think a lot of people damage their relationship building mechanisms. When I say relationship building mechanisms, I mean think back to when you were a little kid and made a buddy at school... how did you go about identifying someone to play with? You didn't, you just exposed yourself to other people through the activities and hobbies you like and the ones who had chemistry with you became your friends. When I was little I didn't have expectations, I just spent time with the people that enjoyed life in the same way as me. If my girlfriend didn't like snakes, gaming, hiking, or the things I like, would we have ended up becoming best friends? Probably not.

You say you don't really do much. Go to an online site and build a profile. Say you are looking for someone to do things with you that you like to do. List out the things you like to do, not the things you think you'd like to do. Look for a FRIEND. If things line up right, they'll become a lover.