As a father of three, all I can say is hang in there. It is always going to be a challenge and life has a way of dumping crap on you a lot. However, take satisfaction on your family. Being a dad can be very difficult somedays but when your baby hugs you or smiles at you, it is all worth it. It is a feeling all parents know. My wife and I started out poor college kids in a crappy apartment. I quit college to work full time at a power line construction job. It did pay well and had decent benefits, however, it was seasonal and after each job I had to go back to the union hall and sign up and wait for the next job. Very difficult to plan anything with that lifestyle. It was on this job that I was sitting in a ditch in the middle of no where eating my lunch and one of the older guys asked me what the hell I was doing out here and that I should go back to school. For some reason that motivated me along with the fact that I wanted to be a good example for my family. I went back and got a degree in Biology and Chemistry. I now work full time in a hospital and although it is hard work, it is still easier than pouring concrete footers in a giant hole out in the middle of no where. My life is still challenging, money is always an issue(I have one in college now), and life is never a fairytale, but I have learned to enjoy what I do have, my wife and I coupon like crazy(it saves a lot), and spend as much time as I can with my kids. If you enjoy what you do in the E.D. but do not want to go back to a traditional college, start with looking into your hospitals E.M.T. or Paramedic programs. Most hospitals offer their own accredited and nationally recognized programs. Do something like this and go from there. Just remember to keep your head up and look forward. Now that you are going to be a father, all that you do is now for your baby and your small family. Rememeber that and when you feel down it will comfort you. Hang in there, it does get better, you just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other.