Of course you're still welcomed here. You're making a conscious, hard-working, determined effort to change what you know has been wrong in your life. That is to be admired and appreciated. Trust and reputation take time to rebuild, but so long as you continue on this path, there's absolutely no reason why it can't be done, and often times even stronger than before.
I wish you all the best in your journey and hope that someday we can follow a serious study of the spider gene with you.