If you son is truly scared of snakes, it doesn't matter HOW much he wants to please Daddy, he wouldn't go near them. Let alone carry them, wrap them around his neck, etc.

It sounds like your ex might be jealous, and angry. She can't just take your rights away without going to court and dealing with a judge.

You've never answered if your cages are secure or if they're in a separate room. If you can get them they're own room, with a locked door, I can't see how she could complain that he's in danger.

I wouldn't give up your burm either, as long as its in a secure, locked, escape-proof enclosure. You say you're son is a bit weary of it, so I doubt you bring it out in front of him.