My sis got a hampster once. It took alot to see it as a pet and not another food item. I told her if she got out of line her pet would become food.

In the end I did kill it, but accidently. I put the hampster in it's ball, and put the ball on top of a plate so it floated. Me and my friends were laughing so hard, it was real funny. Then the phone rang and we went and got it for a minute. So anyhoo, we hung up and went to get the hampster, it knocked the ball off the plate... So the ball slowly filled with water and sank. It happened real fast tho, the ball was just going under as we caught it. It musta breathed water or something in a panic.

Ken, breed the gerbils and feed em to the bp.