Sounds like you are stuck between a rock and a hard place. I'm sorry you have these issues to deal with in life. Unfortunately, no one is immune to the trials and tribulations that come along.
As the previous poster has said, the son really has no reason to change his behaviour if your grandparents don't force him to. If they keep enabling his behaviour nothing will change. All you can do is take your situation and make the best of it, or move out. Don't allow his words to influence your self-esteem or cause you to change your behaviours. A man who is old enough to have a 16 year old daughter should be more than capable of renting (or even owning) his own residence, and be able to support at least himself, let alone his dependents.
It sounds to me as though he is hanging out in his dungeon until your grandparents are no longer around, as he figures he will then inherit the house and vehicle(s). By lashing out at you, he is trying to get you to move out so that he will have free run when the time comes. From the post, I assume he is not an only child (you mentioned a brother Mark), so hopefully your grandparents don't leave him anything. Maybe that will be the wake-up call he needs.
From what I have read of your posts, it seems like you are a very well-rounded person, with a good head on your shoulders: it's a shame they didn't do as good a job of raising their son as they have raising you.
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