Need to talk to someone, feeling hurt and angry over my daughter and sports.

[Herpenthusiast3]

I was really expecting this particular individual to have no cartridge in her knee. Somthing horrific at a young age that could justify such a bold and brash reaction, not pulled or strained ligaments and tendons. If you really wanted to be heard a more tactful approach probably would have suited your situation better. I guess what's done is done though huh?! If a situation is so bad that you are having to try to ignore said individuals (who are FAMILY)
Who have an opposing opinion then You probably didn't have all your ducks in a row :/ I'm truly sorry to hear about your daughter injury but you might want to make sure that your perception of the situation is correct because it sounds to me like a minor injury. The type of stuff you get from going outside. :/

[Kaorte]

Ouch Really sorry to hear about this Gale!

Sounds like your daughter just really wants to be good at this, and you seem to be the enemy for trying to keep her safe. I don't think you are wrong though. She needs to understand that pushing herself like this is going to cause permanent damage to her body. She might end up living a life of chronic pain due to her injuries.

It saddens me to imagine her possible future. High school record times, trophies and medals. But she is sitting in a wheelchair or on crutches. Perhaps unable to go to college on those athletic scholarships she was awarded... Perhaps she does go to college and can't enjoy it as much as the rest of her peers because she is limited physically and in pain. You can stare at those trophies and awards all you want, but it doesn't make up for the pain she will have. That will be the biggest reminder of her "success" in high school.

High school seems really important when you are there, but once it is over you have your whole life ahead of you which is often much more exciting than anything that ever happened in high school.

She is 16 so it makes sense that she would push herself further than she normally would. It is so hard to be recognized for something you are good at in high school and it feels really good to be so much better than everyone else, even if you are in constant pain. I know she says she doesn't care if she is in a wheelchair, but she probably does care. She probably thinks about what might happen to her in the future if she keeps this up. Just let her know you still love her, record fast runner or not, she is still super talented and she will make it far in life. It would just be nice to avoid those painful surgeries, leg braces, crutches, and possibly a wheelchair..

I have no idea what you should do about your husband. He seems to not understand the permanent damage his own daughter is facing and how it might affect the rest of her life once she is out of high school and silly track records don't matter..

[xFenrir]

Just wanted to put in what I think might be a good compromise for everyone: talk to your daughter and ask her to get a physical soon. If the doctors clear her for running, look up good basic training regimes and talk to other runners together with your daughter and see if you can create a beginners running program. That way if she still wants to try out or be on the track team when school starts, she's got the basics, she's been training and will hopefully pinpoint that perhaps the coaches or someone else is not exactly telling her the proper way to do things. This way, your daughter can keep doing what she loves and feels supported, your husband will still have his "dream" (yet hopefully your daughter knows SHE calls the shots, not him), and you will feel a lot better that she's not just going out there and hurting herself needlessly.

When us girls are her age, we know everything and think we're adults. Just going mom-mode on her (even if it's honestly for her own good) will just cause everyone to dig their heels in and butt heads. Talking everything out with everyone present, with the condition that EVERYONE gets heard/no fighting, will help you all come to a conclusion. Remind your daughter though that while it IS her decision to be in a sport or if she wants to KEEP doing sports, does she really want to go to prom in leg braces or a wheelchair? Or when she turns 21 and has her first night at the bar? Or if she wants to go to a party? Or even for the rest of her life? Encourage her to do the things she loves, but know her limits and when to take a break.

[dsirkle]

This girl doesn't need a physical. She needs the injury that already exists examined by a specialist.

The injury could go unnoticed in a physical (if the patient wanted to conceal it) and a General Practitioner that did discover it would refer her to an Orthopedic Surgeon because the Doctor giving a physical would not have the proper equipment or knowledge to make a diagnosis.

It has not been established whether the OP's concerns are well founded or not.

A proper examination has not been made of the injury to determine just what the injury is. So far there is a nurses unqualified speculation about what is wrong and documented certainty that no broken bones are involved.

Nobody even knows what injury that the girl has.


If it was my child nobody could stop me from having a proper diagnosis made.

[Herpenthusiast3]

This girl doesn't need a physical. She needs the injury that already exists examined by a specialist.

The injury could go unnoticed in a physical (if the patient wanted to conceal it) and a General Practitioner that did discover it would refer her to an Orthopedic Surgeon because the Doctor giving a physical would not have the proper equipment or knowledge to make a diagnosis.

It has not been established whether the OP's concerns are well founded or not.

A proper examination has not been made of the injury to determine just what the injury is. So far there is a nurses unqualified speculation about what is wrong and documented certainty that no broken bones are involved.

Nobody even knows what injury that the girl has.


If it was my child nobody could stop me from having a proper diagnosis made.

X2. Speculation is going to be met with resistance. Get a definitive diagnosis and that could give weight to your argument if the injury is as bad as you suspect.

[xFenrir]

That's what I meant by a physical. I just didn't know the correct term I guess. Basically I meant "get your daughter examined to figure out if she's injured/what her injuries are".

[dsirkle]

xFenrir, it looks like you have killed this thread.

[xFenrir]

Just doing my job, it seems.

[MasonC2K]

An MRI. That is what she needs. You really have no idea is there is permanent damage or not without one.

Just get her in to a sports medicine clinic and they will run an MRI and tell you what the real damage is.

As a side note, I have a bum knee and a surgically repaired eye from my days in Kung Fu. While my visions recovered my knee makes an aweful creaking sound and hurts when a big storm comes in. But I don't regret doing it. The lessons I learned there will stick with me for life.