update: thank you everyone for your advice and support. sorry, every time i try to reply to each person indvidually, it freezes. anyways, i have gone away from substrate and am using a cage carpet, at least for now. i felt like that eliminated my worries. i have paper towels over it for now to monitor his pee (since he was dehydrated). i like that i can wash it in really hot water and not worry about damaging it, so i think i can get a good hold on the mites problem. he seems to like it a lot, and i dont have to worry about any dander or anything from the wood substrates.

he seems to be doing much better already. he stayed in my shirt (lol his favorite spot on me, its nice and warm) while i deep cleaned his cage last night. he got 3 shots at the vet (one of fluids, one antibiotic while i watched, and one of just sterile fluids for me to practice) and never tried to bite once. he even got a tube down his throat for tests. poor baby had a rough day. i might see how his mood is tonight before i see if he wants to be held. it could go either way.

as far as heat, i just got a thermostat last night, and some really good accurate thermometers mostly to make sure the thermometer on the thermostat is accurate, which it was. i have his tank set and his humidity set (i have a fogger set on low) on the thermostat, but honestly i cant remember what it was set on, and i am at work and cant check, but it was the numbers the vet gave me. i got a better (and slightly bigger, more fitting for his 30 gallon tank) uth on the thermostat, and his heat lamp on a timer.

im hoping that this will be better for him. i want to push over that hump from good care to the best care.

one more question: my roommates boyfriend (who used to raise ball pythons) told me that i should not worry about him being in his water dish. at first i did not listen to him and still worried because it went against everything everyone says on here. then my vet told me the same thing, that some balls float in the water to rehydrate and that they can absorb it through their skin. is this true? should it stop now that i have the fogger and his humidity more closely monitored? or are there really bp's that (like my vet said) just like water more than others? he said that it could also be his way of killing parasites, but dont be surprised if he stays a water lover. he said they are not as common but they are out there. he said that he was not in the water long enough to cause any damage to his skin. any personal experience?