Speaking from experience, I know that the kind of stress you've gone through can get your brain chemistry seriously out of whack. Seeing a psychiatrist carries a negative stigma, but it should not. This is the doctor that specializes in brain chemistry. There are new drugs on the market that can get you out of depression almost immediately. There's no reason to suffer for months or years by yourself to regain your balance. And if you do see someone, don't hide how bad it's gotten or you may not get the help you need.
It sounds like your dad's not aware of how hard things have been on you. You need to talk to your dad and let him know what's going on. Get him to help you. Let the medical community help you. That's what it's there for. Depression can be very serious and it's nothing to be ashamed of. It happens to everyone sooner or later. Just don't let the depression win. Understand that you have a chemical imbalance and get help before something terrible happens.
Ok, I'll get off my soapbox now. Like I said, I'm speaking from experience. I just hate to hear of a young person at the beginning of life risking everything when there's help available. Don't be so tough. Feel what you feel.... Ok, getting off the soapbox for sure now. Good luck... And take care!
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