All Women Should Read This

[Raven01]

Never, NEVER tell a victim of sexual assault to report their assault because it will "help stop the perpetrator from doing the same to others". It is not their fault what the perpetrator did to them.
This pits a huge, huge burden on the victim, when there should be none.

Too late I already did and stand by it.
If I refuse to expose a pedo and then subsequently, other children are harmed by that person I would also be guilty to a degree of allowing that to happen despite having never harmed anyone except in self-defense in my entire life.
You are free to dislike what I say or disagree, that still doesn't make me wrong.

[wolfy-hound]

I never said that women shouldn't be taught to protect themselves. But relying on junk like 'Rapists want women with long hair...' is not helpful. Neither is implying that rapes happen in dark alleys, or certain situations, when we all know that rape can happen in almost any circumstance. Believing in rape=attacked by stranger in dark alley is why some women think that getting forced into a bedroom at a party and held down for forced sex doesn't = rape.

And technically, the "treat all men like they are evil" isn't quite right either. I think the idea is to treat all men like they COULD BE evil. (not that I agree that it is right or wrong... just trying to clarify what I think the point is)

I don't treat all people like they're out to get me, I'm merely AWARE of a potential for bad things at any point, anywhere. I can enjoy life, smile at people, treat people with kindness and generosity and still be watching for potential trouble.

Not looking like a potential victim is a good tactic to avoid being attacked... by a mugger or kidnapper perhaps. It's not proof against a rapist who might be looking and thinking inside his sick mind "Who does she think she is!? Walking around like she owns the street..." There is NO set rapist formula. That doesn't mean it's a bad tactic, but thinking that it will stop all rapists is bad, just like assuming that carrying a handgun is proof against being raped, or knowing karate is proof against being raped. Nothing is foolproof. Best is to have a dozen tactics in your head... and then use judgement to decide which tactic serves you best.

[CatandDiallo]

Too late I already did and stand by it.
If I refuse to expose a pedo and then subsequently, other children are harmed by that person I would also be guilty to a degree of allowing that to happen despite having never harmed anyone except in self-defense in my entire life.
You are free to dislike what I say or disagree, that still doesn't make me wrong.

This put the burden and the blame back on to the victim, which is so damn wrong.

The victim isn't allowing ANYTHING.

The rapist/pedo/whoever is the one who is doing the raping/whathaveyou.


Do I think that it would help for people who have experienced assault to report the people who have assaulted them? Absolutely. However, I would never guilt-trip someone into doing it. Ever.

[Salamander Rising]

That sucks

Yeah, it sure does.

So.....I "carry" this instead.



He pretty much makes me not "victim material" to everyone.

[Raptor]

Rape/molestation is a crime and should be treated as such, which means reporting it. The burden is on the victim to report it. Just like it's on a homeowner to report that their house has been broken into, or someone who has witnessed a murder.

[Kaorte]

But he is so handsome!!

[Anatopism]

Funny, by your own admission YOU don't know what to call it.
Feeling "icky" is not indicative of sexual assault. If you do have a VALID complaint then file criminal charges and contact your local College of Physicians/Medical Board etc, whichever applies.
And, ya you can expect to be asked questions to find out whether or not you have a valid complaint or an axe to grind (hint false accusations do happen quite regularly, another waste of money that could be used to help real victims)

I won't call you an insensitive piece of crap, but everything you've said so far certainly makes me want to. In case you missed it:

I was sexually assaulted (something like that - still not sure what to call it but it wasn't right and left me hysterical and in tears) in a doctor's office.
That has taught me that NO WHERE is safe and NO ONE can be trusted.

It might not fall into the definition of 'rape' but then again there are lots of things that do not fall into the definition of rape that are still some form of sexual assault and CAN be difficult to define.


To everybody else bashing everybody else about how everybody else is dangerous (still following? Hope you can keep up with those blinders on):

I view my interactions with strangers, particularly those who are obviously capable of overpowering me (which is most people - I'm 5'7 and 115 lbs, I get winded walking up the stairs to work and I chew my fingernails), similarly to how I view snake bites, or even encounters with stray dogs. I don't anticipate every one of my snakes (or dogs) biting me - it happens very rarely, but I am fully aware that it can happen, and likely will happen at some point in the future. I am conscious of what my animals are capable of, and react or prepare accordingly. I'm not afraid to reach into my tubs, and I RARELY even flinch when there is a strike. I know how to read behavior of my snakes, of dogs or cats I encounter out in the world, and the same applies when encountering human strangers.

These 'tips' are good for MEN too. Men get assaulted - by women AND by other men. Think it's difficult for a woman to accurately express what happened to her, or to build up the courage to seek help? It can be just as difficult, if not more so, for a man, in a society that is even harsher on a male victim than a female victim in it's response to a rape or sexual assault accusation.

The point of this thread is to spark awareness. It's to encourage people to pay attention to their surroundings. Sure, assaults are NOT that common on a whole, but to assume everything is lollipops and icecream, and therefore pointing out any of this info on this thread is of no use, or is too one sided, is ridiculous. If a thread were started about proper steps to have a 'fire emergency plan/kit' it would be just as ridiculous to point out that fires don't actually happen that frequently, and to disregard fire safety plans from the get-go.

Know your strengths AND your weaknesses. Understand how they can be exploited. The point is not to be fearful, but to be prepared.

[Rob]

I was just about to say, look a heated thread and wilomn isn't in it...........wait he's the op.

[Salamander Rising]

Rape/molestation is a crime and should be treated as such, which means reporting it. The burden is on the victim to report it. Just like it's on a homeowner to report that their house has been broken into, or someone who has witnessed a murder.

What if the victim is 10 years old and their parents have basically told them to STFU about it because if 'trouble in the family' happens because they opened their mouth they're going to be 'disowned'?

What 10 year old is emotionally equipped to handle that?

What happens later when the 10 year old is grown up and the rest of the extended family is consolidated in 'protecting' the pedo to make sure the pedo's wife is not "hurt"?

Do you have any idea what living with that kind of conspiracy to reward guilt and punish innocence does to a person?

[Raptor]

What if the victim is 10 years old and their parents have basically told them to STFU about it because if 'trouble in the family' happens because they opened their mouth they're going to be 'disowned'?

What 10 year old is emotionally equipped to handle that?

What happens later when the 10 year old is grown up and the rest of the extended family is consolidated in 'protecting' the pedo to make sure the pedo's wife is not "hurt"?

Do you have any idea what living with that kind of conspiracy to reward guilt and punish innocence does to a person?

It happened to my mother, though she was a great deal younger. You know what she did? She worked through her issues. Although, she didn't say anything because she knew that if her father found out, he'd kill the person responsible.