I know the feeling. I'm the same way which is why I just made myself a CO2 chamber to humanely put these rats down instead of feeding them to my BPs live. Right now, I'm trying to switch my BPs to freshly killed rats.

So far, 3 out of 8 took them. I still have 8 more to go - still unknown if they will take pre-killed or not. Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated.