Males do stay smaller with many not exceeding 6 ft. There are many localities that are even smaller. Nicaraguans, Sonorans, Hog Islands and most of the other insular subspecies stay around 5-ish ft. Tarahumara Mountain and Pearl Islands are even smaller at around 4 ft.
As far as temperament, generally most BCIs are really laid back and gentle. Nicaraguans and Central Americans can be somewhat testier than the average Colombian so I might stear clear of them if you want you kids to be able to handle it eventually. The insular subspecies are much like the Colombians and are quite good. Either way, if you get one as a baby and "grow" with it, you will get to know that boa's personality very well. And if it needs some minor taming down, you'll have plenty of opportunity to do that before it gets bigger.
Oh! And if those are still too large, you might consider a Rosy boa or Kenyan Sand boa. Both of them average less than 3 ft!