Holiday trouble with my family :/ Snake related

[dragonboy4578]

This would definitely be a difficult situation to be in. I was lucky that my parents have always been supportive of my hobbies. This includes my snakes. When I was young my mother even bought my first burm for me. The problem that I have had is how to explain my collection to new people in my life such as a potential girl friend. I have had more than one girl that I was seeing quit talking to me because I told them about my love of reptiles, and the size of my collection which is currently over 40 snakes, and a few T's. With that said the only advice I can give is to give your mom a little time to let your passion for the reptile world settle in. I am sure that it would be one hell of a shock for her to find out that you had such a large collection. With time I would bet that she gets over her anger. It may take a while. After her anger subsides slowly start to give her some information on the different laws, and start introducing her into the reptile community.

[ballpythonluvr]

My mother also found out about my snakes because of my Facebook account. I am friends with a lot of my cousins on there and someone told my mom I have snakes. She was less then thrilled when she found out and my step-father didn't help with his reaction either. I too did not think that telling my parents that I keep snakes was a good idea because I knew they would not like it. My mom even went so far as to say that she hoped my snakes got out at night and strangled me in my sleep, lol. So ignorant and uneducated. I tried explaining and educating her and it did no good. However, with time apart, my mom has finally accepted the fact that I am not giving up my beloved snakes any time soon. We talk on the phone now every so often. She has stated that she will never step foot in my home and I am ok with that. My advice is just this Steffe, be patient and understanding, and eventually your mother may accept that you love your snakes and your hobby and that you are not going to give it up ever.

[Kaorte]

Thanks for the suggestions.

While I was talking to my dad on the phone last night, I explained to him that I have looked up the illinois and chicago laws regarding exotic pets. I even read him a few lines directly from the segment of the law that pertains to reptiles.

Then he started talking about how it must be illegal to operate a home business in Chicago, so I provided him with some information from the city of chicago regarding home businesses (which are very much so legal in the city of Chicago). Even though I was providing him with information directly from the source, he was still insisting that I must have missed something, there is no way you can legally own and breed a bunch of reptiles without registering or getting a license. :/ I urged him to do some research in his free time to find anything that suggests the contrary. I have not found it, and neither have my fellow local reptile breeders who operate well within the law.

I just feel like they will search and search for any bit of information that would suggest what I am doing is unlawful so that they have a justified reason as to why its not okay for me to have so many snakes.

I don't have a business yet, but it is something I would love to do in the future. Probably not this year or the next year, but when the time comes I will follow the rules and get any necessary permits or licenses.


I will be having as many as 3 clutches this season and I am fairly certain that unless I make a certain profit, I am not required to pay taxes on that money. Does anyone have any more information on small businesses? I wasn't going to get a small business license until I was making a decent profit (more than 2k or so a year) but if there is something illegal about that, I will just go ahead and get the license. Can anyone point me in the right direction here?

[Kodieh]

I disagree with your assertion that she's worried. No one gives out financial blows like insurance or cell phone cut offs and is worried.

I just don't discuss my hobby with family anymore. I don't feel like having these discussions, unless I'm asked about it. Then I try and be as professional as possible.

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[aldebono]

We have 22 snakes and then more frogs and lizards. 20 something snakes is nothing like having 20 something cats or dogs. And putting a number on it makes it seem a lot worse than it really is. I have just learned to hide any new additions so I don't have to hear about it. My parents see it as another mouth to feed, not that I got it for free or in a trade. While I see it as another mouth to feed still isn't raising my bedding and rat block bill.

I am excited for you to be moving with a designated space for your animals! It makes hiding them and showing them off a lot easier. We will be moving at the end of May when my husband gets out of basic with the Coast Guard. I am so excited to have a spare bedroom as my own "space".

I love my animals, but I would also love to have family or guests over and not be berated with questions from those two don't understand bins. I would also love to have them in the spare bedroom to avoid "The Look" when people round the foyer and see the frog rack behind my dining room table.

I think it will pass. Just give it some time for everyone to forget. You are not doing anything wrong! You have a passion for these animals just like the rest of us. Even though other people do not understand, we do.

[Kaorte]

I disagree with your assertion that she's worried. No one gives out financial blows like insurance or cell phone cut offs and is worried.

I just don't discuss my hobby with family anymore. I don't feel like having these discussions, unless I'm asked about it. Then I try and be as professional as possible.

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I think the financial blows came with the anger, not the worry.

I don't usually discuss my animals with my family, only when the specifically ask. The only reason this stuff came up was because my mother was facebook stalking me intensely. She has nothing better to do but sit on facebook and twitter all day. Maybe she needs to join the reptile hobby!

We have 22 snakes and then more frogs and lizards. 20 something snakes is nothing like having 20 something cats or dogs. And putting a number on it makes it seem a lot worse than it really is. I have just learned to hide any new additions so I don't have to hear about it. My parents see it as another mouth to feed, not that I got it for free or in a trade. While I see it as another mouth to feed still isn't raising my bedding and rat block bill.

I am excited for you to be moving with a designated space for your animals! It makes hiding them and showing them off a lot easier. We will be moving at the end of May when my husband gets out of basic with the Coast Guard. I am so excited to have a spare bedroom as my own "space".

I love my animals, but I would also love to have family or guests over and not be berated with questions from those two don't understand bins. I would also love to have them in the spare bedroom to avoid "The Look" when people round the foyer and see the frog rack behind my dining room table.

I think it will pass. Just give it some time for everyone to forget. You are not doing anything wrong! You have a passion for these animals just like the rest of us. Even though other people do not understand, we do.

I agree with that bit about the number. I hate telling people the exact number because it doesn't really matter. the difference between 18 and 22 is not that much, but to a regular person it seems enormous.

I'm so glad to move. I currently live in a 500sqft apartment which works out just fine, but I can't really have guests for long periods, and all of my reptiles are in my living room. Its a little frustrating sometimes, but we make it work. Normally most of the people coming to my house have been there before and know about the animals. Those that are new are informed prior to entering that there are lots of reptiles! My upstairs neighbor is petrified of snakes and I told her they are all very secure and not going anywhere near her. She seemed comforted by the fact that I didn't pressure her to hold them or look at them.


Anyway.. I'm sure my mother will come around eventually.. I just wish it wasn't during the holidays during the short period of time I get to see my family

[iCandiBallPythons]

I would kindly remind them who will be calling the shots when they are old and decrepit in a rest home sitting in a turd diaper someday

[RestlessRobie]

I can understand what you are going threw my family ( mostly my sister ) are against my rat breeding to feed my snakes. Most of them are ok with the snake hobby. But my sister was a pill over Christmas due to me breeding then euthanize my rats as snake food. The thing that I find absolutely hypocritical about the whole situation is she raises chickens as food and for eggs. But rats are too cute to breed and freeze for snake food. I am being inhumane in the killing of the rats. I use a CO2 chamber and take very good care of the rats. They are all fed well and all my breeders are treated as pets. Vet visits if needed and great food as well as play time. But all she could talk about was me freezing rats to feed to snakes. It was a very unpleasant family event and well most of the family just did not want to get involved but who could blame them. Then after the holiday she asked if she could adopt some of the babies I have to save them from snakes. What so you do with family but try to get along I guess

[Valentine Pirate]

I think the financial blows came with the anger, not the worry.

I don't usually discuss my animals with my family, only when the specifically ask. The only reason this stuff came up was because my mother was facebook stalking me intensely. She has nothing better to do but sit on facebook and twitter all day. Maybe she needs to join the reptile hobby!

Just thought you should know that cracked me up

I agree with that bit about the number. I hate telling people the exact number because it doesn't really matter. the difference between 18 and 22 is not that much, but to a regular person it seems enormous.

I'm so glad to move. I currently live in a 500sqft apartment which works out just fine, but I can't really have guests for long periods, and all of my reptiles are in my living room. Its a little frustrating sometimes, but we make it work. Normally most of the people coming to my house have been there before and know about the animals. Those that are new are informed prior to entering that there are lots of reptiles! My upstairs neighbor is petrified of snakes and I told her they are all very secure and not going anywhere near her. She seemed comforted by the fact that I didn't pressure her to hold them or look at them.


Anyway.. I'm sure my mother will come around eventually.. I just wish it wasn't during the holidays during the short period of time I get to see my family

I'm so sorry that your parents reacted the way they did. In my opinion is was waaaay out of line. However, people being individuals they are entitled to their opinions

I would play my best dead pan whenever it comes up (especially in a "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS!" manner). It doesn't sound like they're willing to listen to the reasonable side of it, and until the emotional reaction ebbs a bit it may be a futile effort. You seem to be taking it very well and maturely (good on you!!). You're not doing anything illegal, or unsafe, and at the very least they could respect you as an adult doing something you enjoy. They don't have to like it, but this reaction they had is negative to the point of bizarre to me

[naturesbeautybreeder]

Only people that support my hobby/business is me my fiancé and my brother my dad doesn't mind snakes but doesn't get the entire picture of why...no one really bugs me about it they know I'm a grown up and I will so as I want no matter what they say. But I will say that if you can have a conversation with your mom and explain everything to her or even make a presentation of everything like deaths by reptiles,the industry/hobby of breeding,the out going and income of money and show her the key points in the hobby maybe she will come around. I know it ain't much help and u can only do so much to get the point across buy just keep your head up and just remember everyone likes there own things and not everyone likes things that others like!