How do you know when it's time to call it quits in the snake world?

[angllady2]

Ok bear with me here. I love my snakes, I really do. But I've been thinking lately maybe I'm not cut out for this anymore. Once upon a time, I spent a few minutes each day or every other day holding my snakes, checking them over and checking their tubs. They were given 15 minutes of playtime on the bed under close supervision at least once a week. I took great pride in my animals, and in giving them great care.

But now? I rarely get them out unless it's to show one to someone. I don't spend time with them anymore. Sometimes they go a week or more before I'll remember to check their tubs and change their water.
What was once a joy has turned into a job. And it's one I don't much like to do anymore. I feel badly when a week goes by and I forget to even check their water dish. Or a month goes by and the only time they see me is when I feed them. And feeding has gotten sporadic too. Sometimes I don't feed for two weeks or more. I tell myself "today is feeding day, don't forget!" But then I get distracted by other things, and when I do remember it's too late. So I say I'll do it tomorrow, but then the cycle just repeats itself.

More and more I am becoming the kind of snake keeper I can't stand, but I don't know what to do about it. Should I just give up, sell all my snakes and forget them? Should I keep one or two and try to be better for them? Should I try to get my family to help, knowing the snakes are my responsibility and everyone else has lots of stuff of their own to worry about.

When I do spend time with my snakes, I am happy. I love to interact with them, talk to them, watch them. But it seems I never spend time with them anymore. And the babies I bred and was so proud of... no one has bought one. I thought they would before now. They were so beautiful and so much better than most of the ones I see, but no one seems to care. I've gone to shows with them, and people comment on how nice they are and how beautiful, but then they just walk on. It feels like I worked so hard for nothing. I don't even get excited about my 50/50 pied anymore. He's just another baby to feed and dirty tub to clean. And after waiting so very long to have one like him, since the early '90's you would think I'd be thrilled to have him, but I'm not. Not anymore.

I just don't understand what went wrong. Why I was once so happy to have them, to breed them and care for them, and now I just don't care. They are a chore, a bother, sometimes I even feel resentment
that I need to care for them.

So please someone, tell me what you think has changed, and what you think I should do. I am lost at this point.

Gale

[bsd13]

Your passion for them is gone. Priorities in life change. Clearly, based on your post, your priority isn't snakes. That's ok, nothing wrong with that at all. But that you've begun to neglect your snakes is a problem. I'd say it's definitely time to part with them. For whatever reason you're not giving them the level of care you expect yourself to provide. Give/sell them to people who can and will. Keep one as a pet if you like, but get out of the business of snakes.

[txcoker]

I can't answer what has changed, however with what you said above it sounds like you have already made your mind up. When you stop caring, I would say it is time to step away. This is not a bash on you, but the animals deserve better than to go a week without being checked on.

Good luck on what you decide.

[Flikky]

It happens, losing your passion in a hobby. But I agree, once you start neglecting your animals you need to let them go.

[Daybreaker]

I'm sorry to hear about the change of heart, that's tough But honestly from just this post it sounds like you may be done, especially with forgetting to do daily/every other day care (ie the water bowls, feeding, and such) and your newest clutch not even doing anything for you anymore (I know you had problems with it but I still say congrats on the healthy babies). My advice is to try a little more for awhile (ie make yourself spend more time with them) and see if your attitude changes simply by being around them more. Maybe getting into a groove of working with them more frequently will re-spark your interest? And if it continues to be a chore....then maybe it's time to move on or simply cut down the collection to your favorites so it's not so time consuming. As far as what changed...if this change of heart is sudden then maybe it's other issues making you feel this way? I remember your other thread about your hubby...maybe outside stress not related to the snakes is coming down on you and making you feel this way towards them? I'd really ask yourself if this is just about the snakes or something else (are you losing interest in other hobbies/interest you have?), but in the end I hope you do what makes you the happiest ultimately. And for that little male pied you produced, I would still be super proud of him: I would snatch him up in a heartbeat. That het pied girl with the crazy pattern was stunning too.

Oh, and as for not handling them all the time like you used to: honestly I only handle my balls if I need to clean out their tubs, get weights, or if I feel like getting pics. I think they enjoy being left alone over being fussed over frequently

[ChrisS]

I think you need a break. Do you have someone close to you who can care for your babies for a period of time? I'd hate for you to get rid of your collection only to regret it later. You are a great person and very helpful here, so if you choose to get rid of your snakes please don't leave us.

[DooLittle]

It's sounds like you are burnt out. I know life can be crazy and busy. Maybe get rid of all but just one or two of your favorites. A male and female in case down the road you want back in. But I agree, if they are getting neglected, its time to do something about it. Find them homes where people adore them, like you used too. Good luck.

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[Mike41793]

Could this have anything to do with the problems you were having with your marriage? I remember reading that awhile ago but dont remember ever seeing what had come of it...

[rlditmars]

Sorry to hear that you're feeling as you do. Sometimes life just has a way of stealing our zeal. It seems you've had a tough go of late, and that has included your snakes. Do you think you may be suffering from some depression? It will definitely rob you of your passion and it does it in a way that you may have trouble recognizing. It creeps in like fog so you don't notice it. But once its thick enough, its hard to find your way back. You may want to look into it as some of what you have described seems syptomatic.

I agree with another poster about staying on task as far as the care. It is our responsibility to care for our animals even when we don't feel like it. But I think it's alright to ask for help too. Sometimes we just can't do it all. Try putting reminders on your phone just so that you do not let things go for too long. Above all you need to care for yourself first otherwise you won't be capable of caring for anything else, regardless of your desire. I have seen many posts on the forum here where "you" have done your best to be the light in the darkness. I hope we can be that for you now and you can work through this.

[ballpythonluvr]

I too have gone through this before. I used to have four snakes but I soon found it to be more of a chore then a passion. I ended up rehoming three of the four snakes, it was for the best interest of the animals and myself. I gave myself a break for a little while. There is no shame in admitting that you need help and that you do what is best for the animals. When you find your passion turning into a chore, then yes, it is time to rehome the animals. What really helped me was keeping my big male normal male that started the passion for me in the first place. I have such a bond with this snake and I could not part with him even if I tried. I love him very much and I am very much passionate about him and taking care of him. I have slowly picked myself up off of the ground and once again found out just how much I love my hobby. Depression is a real downer and I have been there and done that already. I sought counseling and it really helped me to be able to focus on the real issues. I find my snakes very therapeutic now and they are a welcome distraction from the world of depression. They give me a sense of purpose and keep me in a steady routine that helps get me through each day. Just take the time to figure out what you really want and need right now. Perhaps just holding onto one of your snakes will help you decide what you really want to do. If you need to talk, I am just a PM away.