Extreme Rant. (about a stupid family issue)

[Kodieh]

Can you bring it with you?

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[Quantum Constrictors]

If your dog is trained well, couldn't you bring him with you to the g/f's place for a night?

No. The reasons are private to her family so I am not going into detail.

I just really really dont want to be here. I mean my dog has allready eaten and got all her energy out of her system and is ready to crash for the night.

And my mom doesnt work tomorrow. I would be back before the evening.

[OctagonGecko729]

I'd maintain that calm and collected approach, at the very least when things blow up and get ridiculous you know it wasn't you. This approach works really well, you can also point out to them that they are yelling when they do. Honestly though, there isn't much else I can help you with because its pretty much all psychologizing at a distance, I have no idea what kind of dialogues and family dynamic you have going on.

[BrandiR]

That's why I'm a cat owner.

Ha ha! My cat has separation issues! When I'm inside she doesn't give a crap if I acknowledge her at all. In fact, I think she'd prefer I didn't. Step outside and she goes Kuh-RAY-zee!
But...I realize that she's a cat, I'll be back, and she will survive. 24/7 Dog-Nanny = Lunacy!

[TJ_Burton]

If I have said it once, I have said it a thousand times...
If you don't like living under your parents' rules, MOVE OUT OF THEIR HOUSE.

Seriously dude,
Move out on your own, or with some friends and don't complain about what your parents or family expect of you while you are living in their house. I got tired of having to follow someone elses rules too, and I moved out with two buddies of mine. I now live a much more stress free lifestyle, and my relationship with my family is the best it ever has been. Whining about how unfair life is doesn't do anything to help the situation. If you need to vent, sure whatever... but at the end of the day you need to change something in order to solve the problem. Don't expect your parents or siblings to be more reasonable or suddenly see things your way, don't sit their rambling on about what is or isn't fair. Realize that it is time for you to act as an adult and live your own separate life, in your own separate home, under your own separate rules. It isn't hard to do if you are willing to put a little effort into it. Get a full time job if you do not have one, jump on the classifieds sites and look for basement apartments for rent, get your butt in gear and make this whole situation a non-issue by removing yourself from it. Hell, you can even sit with your family and let them know that this is what you plan to do. Skip the "I am tired of living with you guys, you are unfair and mean and blah blah blah" and head right to "I think it is time that I get out on my own; I need my own space and I am ready to take on the responsibilities of life solo". They may even be willing to help you find your new place, or give you the much needed encouragement to get yourself out into the world.

Anyways, this is simply friendly advice from a guy who got tired of living with his parents as well.

P.s. I don't feel sorry for you, and I honestly think you are being a bit of a wuss about this. MAN UP! You are stealing your own dignity away from yourself by being childish; you are better than that dude...

[jschwe]

If I have said it once, I have said it a thousand times...
If you don't like living under your parents' rules, MOVE OUT OF THEIR HOUSE.

Seriously dude,
Move out on your own, or with some friends and don't complain about what your parents or family expect of you while you are living in their house. I got tired of having to follow someone elses rules too, and I moved out with two buddies of mine. I now live a much more stress free lifestyle, and my relationship with my family is the best it ever has been. Whining about how unfair life is doesn't do anything to help the situation. If you need to vent, sure whatever... but at the end of the day you need to change something in order to solve the problem. Don't expect your parents or siblings to be more reasonable or suddenly see things your way, don't sit their rambling on about what is or isn't fair. Realize that it is time for you to act as an adult and live your own separate life, in your own separate home, under your own separate rules. It isn't hard to do if you are willing to put a little effort into it. Get a full time job if you do not have one, jump on the classifieds sites and look for basement apartments for rent, get your butt in gear and make this whole situation a non-issue by removing yourself from it. Hell, you can even sit with your family and let them know that this is what you plan to do. Skip the "I am tired of living with you guys, you are unfair and mean and blah blah blah" and head right to "I think it is time that I get out on my own; I need my own space and I am ready to take on the responsibilities of life solo". They may even be willing to help you find your new place, or give you the much needed encouragement to get yourself out into the world.

Anyways, this is simply friendly advice from a guy who got tired of living with his parents as well.

P.s. I don't feel sorry for you, and I honestly think you are being a bit of a wuss about this. MAN UP! You are stealing your own dignity away from yourself by being childish; you are better than that dude...

^ THIS.

Exactly what I would have said, only better.

[Chkadii]

I do want to just go lol

I really have no problem with going I give up with taking care of that dog.

But when I do go to leave I feel uber guilty about leaving my dog overnight.

Wait, so is this actually about your sisters dog? It sounds more like your situation with YOUR (not accusatory- i don't have italics available for a less scary emphasis) dog that is keeping you home.

Do you think your family would hurt your dog? Or are you just feeling guilty that you'd be "abandoning" (as ridiculous as it sounds) your sister's dog while expecting them to watch your pooch?

If you're worried about your puppy, put her in a kennel overnight. There are doggy daycare places that even have webcams set up so you can check on your dogs. I think some big petstore chains (petco & petsmart) have boarding programs too. You wanted her, and she is your responsibility. But your sisters dog isn't. You said you'd be busy soon anyway (don't remember if its with work or school) so eventually it won't be your problem anyway. Your mom might even get tired of staying home 24/7 while you and your sister are unavailable and leave the dog home alone after all.

Honestly, this is just one of increasingly worse "welcome to adulthood" situations. More often than not you don't get to do what you'd rather be doing because of previous/more important obligations. This time it's dogs keeping you home. Next time it'll be because rent's due and you're too broke. Then it'll be because you have kids and ran out of vacation days at work. It sucks, but what are you going to do?

If your girlfriend is worthwhile she'll understand that you have responsibilities to attend to. As you get older, women find that maturity attractive. They see you helping your family and know that when you have a family of your own you'll step up to the plate and handle things even if its not ideal.

Best of luck!

[Lucille]

P.s. I don't feel sorry for you, and I honestly think you are being a bit of a wuss about this. MAN UP! ..

Exactly. It takes two to create a rug- the one walking, and the one walked on. If you, as they say 'Just say no' the problem with come to rest right where it should, on the owner of the dog.

[OctagonGecko729]

I'd agree with TJ, with the exception that I would not recommend you tell them because I guarantee based off what you've said here that they will go ape**** on you and be completely unpredictable. If its worth it to you, gather some funds and get away from folks that are incapable of bringing rationality to conflicts.

[TJ_Burton]

I'd agree with TJ, with the exception that I would not recommend you tell them because I guarantee based off what you've said here that they will go ape**** on you and be completely unpredictable. If its worth it to you, gather some funds and get away from folks that are incapable of bringing rationality to conflicts.

I have a feeling that there is a lot more to this scenario than what is being shown to us; keep that in mind. Considering the lack of maturity at the heart of this thread, I doubt the family is comprised of a bunch of completely unreasonable people who expect too much from a son that lives in their home. It would be foolish to assume you've learned any hard truths about the OP's family in this thread considering you are getting a single biased side of the story.

The smart and responsible thing to do would be to have a civil conversation with your family and make them aware of your intentions. If you do not care to keep ties with your family, sure you can blind side them and leave without any notice, but realize how that looks to them.