I feel like I've lost my passion...

[kdreptiles]

In the wake of some attempted life changes, I have found myself not caring as much for the animals I have, and it's become worrisome. No, they are not being neglected, if their health were failing because of me I would have found them new homes in a heartbeat.

Nearly every animal I have now were rescues, each with history, each who benefited in my care. I used to do everything in my power every day to make sure they were comfortable, even now, I have no bedroom for them. And now even filling water dishes are a chore. I feel so guilty for it, but at the same time, I could really use the money I spend on them for things I need, such as clothes and an apartment of my own. I could better use the time in college. I could better use the space they take up for a quiet study area, I could have my bedroom back and not have to sleep on the couch since I moved into a smaller place. But I do still love them all, and I'm torn because of it. I have considered finding them homes, but when I do, I'm just reminded that every person I am ever contacted by to re-home a rescue sound incredibly incompetent, or have sounded great, then turned around and sold the animal for a profit the next day (yes, literally, someone was on craigslist selling the ball python I adopted out to them less than 24 hours prior).

Has anyone felt this way? Is this a sign I should get out of the hobby completely for awhile, or is this a phase? I really don't know what to think anymore...

[Solarsoldier001]

I believe that people reach a point in life that they just feel like they have to change. Honestly, you'll most likely have to find good homes for your animals. Because if you feel like its chores and that you would rather have a quiet study area and a bedroom for yourself something obviously is making you feel neglect. Its probably time to treat yourself better and let someone else be the rescuer. Maybe after sometime away from the hobby will make you feel refresh, but who knows. Change is never bad. Although right now you sound miserable


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[youbeyouibei]

Sympathetic/compassionate fatigue is what that's called in a clinical setting. You give out so much you can't/don't care for yourself and in the end you suffer for it. Re-home them or sell them to competent people if that's an option but absolutely cut back on them and take some time for yourself. A hobby should be a passion, not something that is a chore or a drudge. It should be what you do to get away from the drudgery and something that sparks an interest and passion in you because you look forward to it. I think you're perfectly "normal" (like all "normal" phenotypes are "normal", you know, lol!) and there's not a thing wrong with how you're feeling. Address it now, take care of your animals as best you can by ensuring they go to competent/caring homes and take some time for yourself before it gets to the point where the animals suffer either through neglect or by intention. Not by any stretch saying you would do that, just that sometimes it can get overwhelming and life doesn't happen in a vacuum as far as dealing with issues. Hang in there and good luck to you!

[kdreptiles]

Thank you both very much for the input. I'm glad that there's a name for it, that I'm not just a horrible person. I will not be getting rid of ALL of them, but will be discussing this with a trusted rescue.

[Ridinandreptiles]

I have fealt that way...got out of it... But it never really goes away I'm into it again(:

[kdreptiles]

Ridin,
Haha, yeah, I think that is why I am keeping some. (well, most)

I have decided that all of my lizards that, as rescues, I never really planned on keeping in the first place need to go to a rescue and find good, permanent homes. The trusted rescue has a rigorous adoption screening and would be much better suited than I in finding the right home. This means I am left with one lizard, a leopard gecko. Two ball pythons will also be going.

This way, I am left with animals are not in need of daily care, special lighting or vitamins, except the one gecko, which is manageable. I hope this will help me in my situation, and allow me to get back in the hobby with ball python morphs when I feel capable. I do love this hobby but need to be in the right place for it.