Life is short.

[CatandDiallo]

I'm sorry to hear this, friend.

I too agree that maybe you should invest your time to learn how to re-direct your negative feelings and impulses to positive energy.


If you need to talk, PM me.

[Vasiliki]

Despite having never gone through such a situation, I have always found myself to be very empathic when it comes to difficulties in life. Seeing other people go through things, I found I could always put myself in their shoes and that would give me perspective to understand their grief.

Your frustration and anger is not a flaw. As Skip said, it only serves to prove that you are human. Our emotions come about based on how we precieve the world.

Anger and frustration are the result of having a desire to change something, but the inability to do so. It is tied so closely with feeling helpless that it's easy to relate anger to grief. We wish to change something, to make a difference, and when we do not know how, we find ourselves turning inward to other emotions.

As was mentioned before, your studying of martial arts should give you some grounds for learning to center yourself and address your emotions with an open heart and mind. It may be difficult now, and yes, you are allowed to grieve in anger if that gives you strength for now. But don't lose yourself to it. Embrace it, awknowledge why you are feeling angry, and ask yourself how you can resolve those emotions through positive actions.

My other half sounds similar to you. When he is faced with something that he believes is unfair, has hurt others, or wishes to help someone but can't, he finds frustration and anger and a desire to fight as well. So, I understand why you are feeling those ways. It's because you care, because you are in touch with your emotions and you are fearless enough to express when you feel hurt. That just shows your passion and your determination.

There is nothing we can do to change the past, as everybody knows. We will hold onto grief for a time, anger for a time, so long as it serves us a purpose in our eyes. When you realize your anger will not hold you up anymore, you will be able to let it go. For now, you are okay. I won't be one to tell you you need to stop and calm down. If this is how you need to feel right now, then that is how you will heal. If you find your anger holding you back, then you will know it is time to let it go.

I am sorry for everyone's loss in this. In that, there are no words enough to cover how awful it is to hear of this happening.

[MrLang]

Skip never gives himself any credit.

The smartest people have the roughest time internalizing their unique superiority... because they know the result would be completely unacceptable.

It's better this way.

[Mike41793]

The smartest people have the roughest time internalizing their unique superiority... because they know the result would be completely unacceptable.

It's better this way.

It feels good to be understood...

[MasonC2K]

Vengeance is a natural and understandable desire in situations such as this. However, not all natural desires are good and beneficial. I think you know this. It's just hard to fight it. My suggestion is, if you haven't done so, go to your wife, girlfriend, close friend, or whoever you have that you trust 100% and vent on them. Cry with them. The best way to curve vengeful desires is to let loose any pent up emotions. I don't know what your faith is but I would pray very hard. In my faith vengeance is God's. So I try to let Him handle it.

As you already know, in the end, vengeance doesn't bring anyone back and, contrary to popular belief, it won't make you feel any better. In fact, it just makes you feel worse.

I am sorry for the loss of your friends. I pray for you, the child, and all effected.

God bless.

[Roadtrash]

I understand the way you felt when you were a fireman. Many years ago I was a Medic in the Army and I have seen more than one person pass and some were friends. Trust me the anger will fade the pain becomes bearable but the memory of them when they were alive lasts forever.

[ewaldrep]

Its common for people like us (meaning that I have a BB in Ju Jitsu as well and we may be more aggressive than some) to feel the desire to hurt someone when we are hurt, especially so deeply. I can't imagine what you must be dealting with but my heart is with you man. Sometimes it seems like our desire to distribute our pain to others that seem more appropriate, such as the drunk drivers whose irresponsibility may have caused this incident, can come from how we think about the way justice is supposed to work in this world. My heart goes out to you and those who lost loved ones!