My day to freak out...

[Vasiliki]

Well then i really dont see a problem with it. Just ask him honestly. If he loves you he should want to help you. Its a relationship so you guys should wanna together and help eachother.

Guys are NOT detectives. We dont go looking for problems to solve lol. So you cant leave it up to him to figure out that youre feeling stressed out bc of the expenses. He honestly probably doesnt even know that youre feeling this way. If he did he probably already would have offered to help.

And yea good call, guess he cant say anything about the pied then if you saved up for it. If the charm is always on you gotta one up yourself with something even better

This is very true, and we do have a great line of communication about many different things. It was something I was hoping to bring up, but it's the approach and how to go about finding a solution that was bothering me. It is something we're going to have to talk about, and I feel more comfortable, now that I've had feedback from other people in this situation.

Hahaha. Up the charm level, huh? Guess my little black dress could be taken out of the back of the closet. After all, I have been hitting the gym. Would be a shame not to flaunt it if you got it, right?

Household expenses should paid according to income. If he makes 20% more than you it should be split 70%-30%. That way is much more fair than a 50-50 split when there is a sizeable difference in income.

I saw my mother and stepfather have problems when they were splitting 50/50 because he made almost twice as much as her so after bills, her check was spent and she had to ask him for any spending money. Once they sat down and worked out a better payment plan, they have been much happier

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That is some very straightforward advice, which I appreciate. I can definitely see now why they say couples can have relationship problems that stem from finances. It wouldn't take much to make one person feel stressed out. Thank you. I'm glad to hear that your mom and stepfather figured out what works for them. That is very encouraging

My wife and I do it this way.

1.) Split the mortgage
2.) when we had our son in daycare (she paid for that) now we will split the cost when both our kids are in daycare
3.) I pay for cable, hydro, water, cell, home phone, and internet. (which I have been paying for almost 8 years now)
4.) We cover groceries together when needed
5.) we buy our own gas, but are willing to cover whoever is short on funds
6.) I cover all the pet food and supplies

Just be open and honest, and if he needs to vent, just let him speak his mind and that goes for you too. Success in a relationship is listening.

Hm. That actually sounds fairly reasonable. Equality in payments with the bigger stuff, but a little more balanced out with the smaller stuff when it comes to income. I actually feel quite comfortable about that kind of approach. As it is, we pay the same for rent and for utilities, but there are days I wish we had a different balance for, say, groceries. Putting our funds together and switching up the utilities might actually make groceries not seem so daunting. I like it. And it makes sense.

I really do love the feedback I've recieved here. This was something I wanted to approach my other half about, but wasn't quite sure what route to take. All these responses and tidbits have given me a much better understanding of what might work for us and what we can try. Feeling more comfortable about bringing it up, rather than just being like: "How we handle our money right now is stressing me out." Better to come into a discussion with solutions and ideas rather than just stating a problem.

You guys have some fantastic suggestions, and that little bit of encouragement helps too, haha.