If nervous! Not scared of picking up your snake then try a snake hook. Or do what I do gently rub it letting ot know your there andd then slowly place your hands at the parts off his body thhat his head is farthest from and slowly lift. I know how you feel Im not afraid of my bp but it does make me nervous to initially pick him up. Im like that with all amimal though an initial nervousness is NORMAL.
Now about feeding most bp ownerss prefer to feed ratts due to more nutrotional value. I would maybe try rat pups they have tons of nutrition and will help him grow. Then you can move up in size ifwhen needed.